Yoga Janelle Monae And Jidenna
11 August 2017, 11:09
Genuinely life saving.
Going on a date? Having to talk - and maintain conversation - WITH ONE PERSON for an entire evening? Give us strength. We would rather do seven class presentations in a row. Actually, that's a lie but yes, going on date can be one of the most nerve wracking things you could ever hope to do and we've all been there.
There are no rules to your first date but if you've never been on one before, consider these tips on how to handle the whole damn thing.
Before anyone goes anywhere, make sure you agree upon a venue that you're both going to feel comfortable in. If sitting down for a meal or drinks in a crowded bar sounds like your worst nightmare, suggest switching to something else - something more activity based or something that isn't too intense. FUN is the key.
Listen, breaking the ice is the absolute worst and EVERYONE knows how it feels, so you're in good company. If you're a person who finds that conversation doesn't come that easily to you, it's alright to make a cheeky checklist in your mind. Talk about music, your favourite TV shows, any mutual friends that you may have in common, ask questions so you don't have to do any of the talking... Maybe steer clear of politics, unless you're into angry heated debates with people you've only just met.
It happens on EVERY first date and you're both in the same boat so just have fun with it. Oh and one small tip: Chances are you've both probably stalked each other on social media prior to this date too so whatever you do, do NOT mention any random information that you uncovered while you were sleuthing their social media profiles. Because that is one fast pass ticket to the awkward zone and this whole situation is awkward enough as it is, thank you very much.
Think of it as a fake interview except you fancy the other person, they fancy you, no one is banging on about your qualifications and no one is gonna blacklist you from their business if you accidentally say a naughty word. Be honest. Don’t lie and say you're related to Harry Styles via your great aunt's marriage because you’re gonna get found out. But at the same time, like, don’t be TOO honest... this is a first date, you've gotta keep some cards close to ya chest.
IMPORTANT! Be yourself from the start. Don't try and change anything about yourself or try to be someone that you're not comfortable being. It goes for aesthetics as well as personality too. Otherwise, you're running the risk of becoming some kind of secret undercover agent and before you know it, you're living a double life. (Alright, it's not that dramatic but you catch our drift.)
Babes, it’s a first date. No one said anything about long-term relationships and marriage so just chill out. That is unless, you know, it’s like love at first sight in which case GOOD FOR YOU NOW GET OFF THIS ARTICLE.
Be totally transparent; if you’re not comfortable with the way things are going, make sure you say so!
Same as above. If you wanna make out on the first date, go for it! But if you're not into it, let the other person know. And if they don’t respect your feelings, then GTFO. This isn't like that date scene in that movie you saw once. You ARE allowed to leave the date without any further expectations. What's that word again? Oh, yeah... CONSENT.
Even if you're having the worst time in the world, don't glue yourself to your phone. And if things are going well, put that sucker away and enjoy the moment. Nothing is worse than someone trying to have conversation with you while you're constantly checking Twitter. And for the love of god, please do not Snapchat the entire evening. Unless it's a real mess, in which case... make sure you send it to us.
Offer to split it, accept your date's generosity and offer to pay next time... Whatever you do, don't make the whole paying the bill situation a thing.
To smooch or not to smooch, that is the question. There are no guidelines or rules on how to end your first date so it's entirely up to you. Obviously, don’t do it if you’re not comfortable - remember, you don't HAVE to do it. If you're 100% sure you don't want a second date, let them know. If you had a great time, suggest a second date. Even if it doesn't work out, you'll know how to handle the next date without being awkward AF.