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13 July 2016, 16:11
Has Shifty Swifty been posing as an innocent civilian to secretly write smash hit songs?
You may have already heard the conspiracy theory circulating around a certain vocal run in Calvin Harris' BANGER 'This Is What You Came For'. If you haven't, here's the scoop: Fans of Taylor Swift are convinced that she lent her honey marinated vocals to the summer anthem. *insert eye roll here*
Thanks Judy! But that's not actually the conspiracy theory that we're here to discuss, my friends. Nope. There's another one - and it concerns a potential super secret alter ego that TAS supposedly pens songs for other artists under. (Oh, and that's Taylor Alison Swift, btw... not 'The Amazing Spiderman'.)
The rumour has apparently been CONFIRMED by one of her reps! According to People Magazine, Taylor wrote the song and sent it to Calvin as a demo! They agreed to keep the collab on the DL and Taylor was credited under her secret alter ego name. WHAT A PLOT TWIST!
Anyway, seeing as that's been confirmed, here's all the evidence we so painstaking gathered trying to uncover yet another Swifty conspiracy theory.
You and I both know that the addition of Taylor's name to the writing credits of the song is probably the work of a Swiftie with too much time on her hands. But who then re-edited it to specifically read the mysterious Nils Sjöberg? A quick trip to Calvin's wiki page let's you know that he rarely writes with other writers unless they're actually featured on the song. But there's no credit for Rihanna on TIWYCF. Those aforementioned 'Oooh' vocals paired with the writing credit are starting to make more sense now, right? The plot thickens.
Do you think John Newman knows how the internet works? Now, you could easily pass this off as one of those tweets where you just automatically tag the partner of the person you're congratulating - because they're one entity now. But like, it's a Calvin and Rihanna song, right? So why did he tag Taylor? EXPLAIN YOURSELF, JOHN!
A quick google search tells me that there are three Nils Sjöbergs in existence. One is a Swedish officer and poet who died in 1822. The second is a former gymnast, born in 1925. And the third looks like a 20-something Communications Manager from Sweden who is completely baffled by the whole thing as much as we are.
But riddle me this, friends. If Calvin's 'Nils Sjöberg' is a good enough producer and/or writer to have written on the Grammy Award Winning Scottish Beefcake DJ's summer smash cash cow, THEN WHY DOESN'T HE HAVE A WIKIPEDIA PAGE OF HIS OWN WITH ALL HIS SHINY WRITING CREDITS? ESCANDALO!
The case is not yet closed - we'll be back with more receipts when they fall into our petty little manicured hands. Alas, that's enough investigating for one day - my magnifying-glass-holding hand is starting to ache. But in conclusion, we kinda guess the Swedish alter ego would explain that out of the blue bleach blonde hair style after all? #CommitmentToTheScam