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7 October 2015, 18:17
Wise man Sivan.
If you were trying to explain Troye Sivan's music to somebody who hasn't heard it before, we'd suggest you do what Troye did and compare it to, "a sad puppy".
It's sad, definitely, and it's kinda cute too, so the comparison makes sense.
A recurring theme amongst the sad-puppy-vibes on the Wild EP is turbulent relationships, particularly long-distance relationships, which come with a very unique set of problems. We wouldn't say Troye offers up any solutions to these problems, but we can certainly learn from his experiences. Let's take a look:
1) "I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray" - "Fools"
We're going to interpret this in the only way possible: gin is a good thing. When things are going well with your bae? Just chug down some gin. When they're not going well? Chug down some more gin. Simple. Gin gin gin gin gin.
2) "'Cause there's still too long to the weekend / Too long till I drown in your hands / Too long since I've been a fool" - "Wild"
The distance always gets to you in the end, no matter how many Skype "dates" you plan. It's the evil you must prepare yourself for, unfortunately.
3) "I can be the subject of your dreams / Your sickening desire" - "Bite"
Given it's nearly Halloween, perhaps the "sickening desire" Troye is referring to is a sexy latex devil outfit he bought? We can see it now *drools*. It's good to keep things spicy in a relationship so give latex costumes a go and let us know how you get on (or don't...yeah, don't do that).
4) "I don't give a fuck / I'm not giving up / I still want it all" - "Fools"
Petulance will get you everywhere. This line can be used in many circumstances: when the barman won't serve you any more, when your parents say that they can't afford to buy you a pony, or to rebuff your friends when they tell you eating an exclusive diet of brussel sprouts is a bad idea. Just give 'em hell and hope for the best.
5) "Now I'm down to my skin and bone / My baby listens to me on the phone / But I can't help feeling like I'm all alone / all alone" - "Ease"
Perhaps only eating brussel sprouts is a bad idea after all. Nobody wants to hear you moaning down the phone about how awful your indigestion is. The moral of the story is don't eat a lot of sprouts unless you want to suffer in pain, alone.
6) "Take careful contemplation / I'd rather be splitting blood / Than have this silence fuck me up" - "The Quiet"
Silence is a no no. Why not TRY SHOUTING EVERYTHING INSTEAD BECAUSE NOT ONLY IS SHOUTING FUN BUT ITS A REALLY GREAT WAY OF LETTING EVERYONE KNOW HOW ANGRY YOU ARE.
7) "Distance makes the heart grow fonder / Said by someone stronger than me" - "DKLA"
This is simply a way of saying "Distance kills everything", isn't it? And it does. We can't even add anything 'funny' about that. Don't get in a long-distance thing, we suppose?
8) "You can coax the cold right out of me / Drape me in your warmth" - "Bite"
The best way to cheer someone up is literally just bundle on them every time you see them. When they walk out the shower? Bundle! When they arrive home from work? Bundle! When they've been told some tragically awful news? Bundle! They will really love you for it. Trust me.
9) "Rags to Riches, but I'm addicted to being broke" - "DKLA"
One assumes Troye has never ever been broke (if he had, he'd know living off 10 cent noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a whole week, and all the horrible bodily functions that come with that, is NOT additive at all). But if he means 'broke' as it 'broken' then, yes, being a drama queen has its advantages. Namely that you can be an irrational asshole about everything and people will forgive you because your heartbroken. Yay!