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18 April 2016, 16:16
We're kinda freaking out about one of these...
The release of a Beyoncé album is always a spectacle, not least because of her majesty's kink for shock-and-awe surprise drops. Seriously, if singing ever didn't work out for Beyoncé, she might want to consider working for the air force. She drops bangers like she's in the luftwaffe ffs.
"Changed the game with that digital drop/Know where you was when that digital popped/I stopped the world", she bragged on Nicki's "Feeling Myself". She wasn't lying. I remember exactly where I was when Beyoncé dropped BEYONCÉ; I was in bed sleeping because it was midnight UK time and some of us need our beauty sleep.
But in this high-drama, high-stakes context, we begin to understand why the Beyhive, her very own online militia, went into overdrive when Youncè previewed a clip on her Instagram of LEMONADE, a mystery project that will be airing on HBO on 23 April. A longer preview appeared yesterday which left us with more questions than answers. You can watch it below.
So what is it? How the f**k would I know? I ain't got time to be second guessing her majesty. The Beyhivé, however, have plenty of time for that. And boy, did they come up with the goods...
People have suggested Beyoncé will be selling organic lemonade in your local Wholefoods store. Scream! I'm ready to sip on Beyoncé lemonade any day of the week tbh. The thought of it alone is making me extremely parched.
I think the less we say about this the better. #JayPee
The signs have been there for a very long time (well, since September 2015).
Surprise pregnancy announcements are another weapon in the Beyoncé arsenal. Don't rule out Watermelon Jackson just yet.
This isn't really a conspiracy, is it? It's just a fact.
This "leaked" tracklisting can't really be trusted as some information on here is obviously wrong, for example, the release date which has already passed. But could an Adele collab be on the cards? They were supposed to perform together when Beyoncé headlined Glastonbury back in 2011 but Adele had to pull out due to illness. Could Adele show up in Lemonade? Possibly maybe!
Kinda like "Run The World (Girls)", which famously featured a sample of Major Lazer's "Pon De Floor". I am 100% into this idea fyi.
Convincing evidence is emerging across the internet.
As some of you will be aware, Game of Thrones is a cult show with a small but dedicated following. It has been struggling to pull in the viewing figures since its debut in 2011 and so to create a bit of publicity for the show (and boy do they need some) they've recruited Beyoncé to make a documentary about them. The title, LEMONADE, comes from Stannis Baratheon's favourite drink.
Perhaps none of the above persuaded you. But if you take anything away from this, please just remember: Beyoncé cannot be trusted to not f**k with you. She has proven time and time again that she enjoys toying with your brain. And she knows EXACTLY how to do it.