#FanProblems: How To Defend Your Fave Song From The Haterz
7 December 2015, 15:39
'Cause the haterz gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
As you'd expect, we talk about music a lot at PopBuzz HQ. We can agree on a few things: Carly Rae Jepson is bae, topless Brendon is bae and, deep down, we're all Josh Dun huns.
But sometimes, just like you and your friends, we disagree. An air of bitterness descends and we can't even look each other in the eye. Music can still be a very tribal thing. If you ain't on my team, you can go drown in a sea of Meghan Trainor b-sides for all I care.
That said, sometimes you've got to deal with the haterz head-on. Maybe they were in a bad mood when they first heard the song? Perhaps they just need some more time to love it? You ask yourself, 'How on earth could anyone not love "American Oxygen"?' Well, ask no more. Here are ten tips to help win them over.
1) First up, try ignoring them. If they really wanted to be your friend, they wouldn't trash your fave song every time it came on.
2) Perhaps try the acoustic version and pray that they achieve enlightenment before it's too late.
3) Failing that, make a scandal by screaming the lyrics in a fancy restaurant at the top of your voice and don't stop until they cave in and admit it's a brilliant song.
4) There's always solitary confinement! Lock them in a room with the song on repeat until they're sufficiently brainwashed to love it.
5) Waterboarding. Only use this as a last resort.
6) Tickling them into submission is much kinder.
7) Hide the song within "Victorious" so they don't notice it at first. Watch them fall in love within an hour.
8) Blackmail. Remember that time they confided in you about that time involving a hot curry and Netflix & Chill? Well now's the time to use it, biatch.
9) Write a letter to Santa asking for better friends for Xmas. He's a generous guy, I'm sure he'll help you out. Plus you don't need that negative influence in your life.
10) Or, do what I do, and write a low-key shady article on Pop-Buzz.com.
Let us know if you've got anymore tips in the comments!