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He was made in God's own image; tall, dark, handsome and cat-like. Adam was #blessed
So he made Stormtroopers. Many believed they were robots but they were, in fact, humans in silly costumes. God's clever like that.
He would often go out snake-hunting with the boys, or skinny-dipping under the waterfalls. Life was pretty darn sweet. But it wasn't to last.
They asked Adam if they could eat some of the fruit in the garden. Regrettably, Adam had forgotten God told him not to eat the fruit. Sh*t was about to go down.
He was feeling pretty bummed about it. Thankfully, he bumped into Colin Farrell not long after leaving. Him and Colin went waaaay back to the pre-Garden days. They had a good catch up and Colin informed him of a place nearby where he might be able to find a job. Adam was overjoyed!
And boy, did he get some milage out of his impression of God when he found out about the fruit! People LOVED it!
People were jealous of his role as a motivational speaker and dashing good looks. Adam persevered, knowing God had greater plans for him.
Until he met this cat, that is. He wondered whether his mother half cat but then he remembered he didn't have a mother. He assumed it must have been a prank by God and tried to forget about it. We're not sure what became of the cat.
He missed the old days. He wondered if they would ever get to go back. Would God forgive them? He persuaded the guys to head back to the Garden of Eden and ask.
It send Adam over the edge, unleashing the evil that had been building in him for many years. He turned into a psychotic maniac, destroying anyone and everything that stepped in the way of his path to take over The New Republic. The end.