The Highly Emotional Stages Of Your Evan Peters Obsession
25 November 2015, 11:01
Is there a cure?
Your obsession with Evan Peters started slowly. You liked him in American Horror Story but you didn't give it much thought. Then, slowly but surely, he started to consume your thoughts. You start doodling 'Mrs. Evan Peters' in your notebooks and that's when you knew you were done for. You're in too deep. You worship at the Church of Evan Peters. Here are the 7 emptional stages of your Evan Peters obsession.
Stage 1: Realising that it's more than just a crush. It's the real deal.
Stage 2: Denial
Your roster is full. You don't have space to love another. It's all too much.
Stage 3: Falling down the Evan Peters rabbit hole
And falling...and falling...and falling and--
Stage 4: Obsession
*Kelly Rowland voice* "When love takes overrrr. Yeeeyeahh"
Stage 5: Clearing your browser history.
If you die suddenly, you don't want people to know how often you googled "Evan Peter topless".
Stage 6: Starting an Evan Peters based religious sect.
Stage 7: Total acceptance
You know what you are. You can't turn back now.