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17 November 2015, 17:30
*ding ding* That's the elevator, cause you're not on his level.
The most important movie of our time and certified Christmas classic, Home Alone, turned 25 years old this week and we all suddenly felt so. old.
It's a well known fact that Kevin McCallister is a hero amongst us mere mortals. Let's face it, anyone who has officially been left at home to fend for themselves will totally get where we're coming from. So, in the same way your parents made you and your siblings to have a joint birthday party, we've decided to celebrate Home Alone 1 AND 2 (which turns 23 in Decemeber) because Kevin's swag levels are just too much to handle.
You'll never achieve this level of swag.
If you can't embrace a classic large Margherita then you're trying too hard.
You'd probably just hide in a cupboard, wouldn't you?
First rule of impending home invasion: Be Prepared.
Where did he get the NERVE to talk to that evil heater in such a way?!
Like seriously... Levels we could never reach.
Sled hard or sled home.
Four poster bed, with high quality festive sheets and a down quilt that would make the Queen of England cry tears of jealousy.
No matter how much you THINK your Netflix and snack marathons measure up to this iconic status move, you're falling short.
I bet you leave it all down your poor mother, don't you?! The McCallister dream is slowly slipping from your grasp.
Just face it, you'll never live this extravagantly in your life.
But you probably couldn't handle it.
If you rang up a credit card bill of THAT MUCH on your Dad's credit card, you would not survive to tell the tale.
Limo & a Pizza? More like a smelly Uber and cold cheesy fries for you. LOL BYE.