We've Looked Through One Direction's Entire Merch Store And They Literally Sell Everything

7 January 2015, 13:47 | Updated: 8 May 2017, 17:09

A tax-deductable public service.

"Hey guys, maybe we've gone a bit too far with all this merch stuff? Perhaps it's time to let the music speak for itself?" said no member of One Direction ever.

2014's pop merch stats are in (better late than never, I guess), and One Direction are leading the field in sales, far outstripping pesky rivals The Beatles, Elvis and Prince, which is hardly surprising because their management's peddling strategy seems to be pretty much: "1D-ify all things that people may buy sometimes." Kind of like a One Direction equivalent to Portlandia's "putting a bird on it".

We trawled through their current merch store to bring you the store's highlights.

Get the "Super 1D Look" with this One Direction shower curtain.

One Direction endorsed and easily portable for a family holiday away? Such brush. So money spent.

Bike for cruising.

Slippers for snoozing.

 The "Must Have" item of winter.

"Sleek" One Direction scooter.

Shoes. There are many shoes.

This Is Not A One Direction Shoe This Is A One Direction Lamp.

Perfume. Vibrant And Juicy.

Make Sure We Cover All Bases. "Sure to be at the top of every girl's wishlist" "Perfect for Any One Direction fan". WHICH IS IT.

One Direction Pink Ugg.

One Direction Onesie. This we can live with.

Bank account broken.