"Glitter And Ribs" Is The New Taylor Swift Song Taylor Hasn't Recorded Yet

4 December 2014, 13:19 | Updated: 8 May 2017, 17:09

Billy Eichner & Taylor Swift
Liam Dryden

By Liam Dryden

Actor and comedian Billy Eichner has penned a song for Tay about burgers, horse hearts and... probably romance.

'Parks & Recreation' nutcase Billy Eichner is setting off on a new career path - ghostwriting songs for the stars. And he's starting off with Taylor Swift.

Appearing on 'Conan' this week, Billy, claiming to be a huge fan of Taylor, says she "is writing about the most important topic, which is 'what happens when your boyfriend doesn't text you back'."

Come on Billy, have you even listened to 'Blank Space'? We're all past that phase.

In her honour, Billy has written a beautiful song he believes sounds like a Taylor original, that he calls 'Glitter and Ribs'. 

Told from Tay's perspective, it chronicles the epic love story between a girl, who is... also a... horse? And a boy who... works at Burger King? And is 49 years old? Or something.

Yeah, it's a little hard to follow, but the emotion is there. It's channeled a lot into screaming about when the appropriate time to clap is.

Valiant effort Billy, but there's a reason Tay is writing her own stuff right now.

SHAKE IT OFF - Matt Steffanina/Taylor Hatala

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