This FanFiction Slays Twitter Trolls And Wins The Internet
11 January 2016, 11:17 | Updated: 8 May 2017, 17:09
An epic tale.
Since the dawn of the internet, there have been trolls; human beings intent on spreading their horrible worlds across the world to the collective eye-rolling of all right thinking people in the twitterverse.
But how best to deal with these morons? One comedian has found the perfect antidote to trolls and their tweets - write fan fiction about them.
This week, the account of Milo Yiannopoulos was unverified after a series of complaints against his views on feminism and gamergate.
I've been sat on the naughty table! pic.twitter.com/2ppJ3X4J62
— Milo Yiannopoulos (@Nero) January 8, 2016
A female reporter at the Huffington Post then wrote a piece expressing joy over the decision, and was subsequently met with a torrent of misogynist abuse.
I observe your noble fight for 'freedom of speech' to send sexist abuse and incite harassment. Don't you want to fight for something better?
— Jessie Thompson (@jessiecath) January 10, 2016
But stand up comic Bec Hill skewed one twitter user by taking his tweet and writing a full story of how it came to be.
Think I'm gonna start writing fanfic about trolls.
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
Sit back and enjoy.
Greg clicked "Tweet". He smiled to himself. But the smile disappeared when his boss walked over. https://t.co/DafhtB4dQo
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian "Your sales targets were off last month," his boss sneered. "Keep that up and you'll be without a job soon." Greg sighed.
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian He watched his boss flirt with Denise. Denise giggled. "I bet Denise doesn't worry about her f**king targets," he thought.
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian Deep down, Greg knew his own shortcomings had nothing to do with Denise. But it was easier to blame her for his shit life.
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian "Women have it so easy," he thought. "Maybe if I had tits, I could spend all day online shopping instead of working, too!"
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
And then the twist comes - we sympathise with Greg!
@bechillcomedian Greg sighed and clicked on his spreadsheet. He hated this job. He often wondered where he'd be if he'd never had kids.
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian The phone rang, startling him. "Hello, this is Greg?" "Hey sweetie, could you pick up some ice-cream on the way home?"
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian "Hah! Guess your New Year's resolution didn't last that long!" "Shut up! It's not for me, it's for Gracie." "Oh yeah?"
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian "Yeah, she's gone up a level in her swimming squad." Greg heard, "I'm a dolphin, Daddy!" in the background. "Very good!"
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian "Are you making sales, Greg?" Greg's boss interrupted, standing uncomfortably close. "Sorry, it's just Gracie. She just-"
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian Greg's boss hung up the call with his finger. "Unless she just sold your monthly target, I don't care." Greg nodded.
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian He put down the receiver as his boss strode off. "F**king cockbag," he thought. He opened up Twitter again.
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian Another woman complaining about some guy having a joke. He was furious. He typed, "Just another #feminazi ruining-"
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian His phone buzzed. He quickly stopped to check it. It was a photo of Gracie - goggles on her head, beaming at the camera.
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
@bechillcomedian He clicked "Leave this Page". Greg smiled to himself. pic.twitter.com/I5UdELkbgD
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
Wonderful.
Read the whole glorious tale, and the beginnings of a second one, here.
And when Greg found out about her work, she had an even better response.
I'm the person who just humanised you to a huge amount of people who otherwise thought you were a twat. x https://t.co/HRaJvVq9F1
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) January 9, 2016
Bec Hill - a pioneer in troll fan fiction.
Welcome to the new way of dealing with internet abuse ladies and gents - kill them with kindness.
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