Fidget Spinners Are Being Used For Everything And It Needs To Stop
27 June 2017, 11:53
From porn to make up applicators, these gadgets are spinning out of control...
Fidget spinners, the new desk toy trend favoured by children, YouTubers and gullible tourists with money to burn, have officially gone too far.
Originally intended to combat anxiety, ADD and autism, the shiny gadgets have now been co-opted by the internet despite having been in existence since the 1990s.
So, while we can appreciate that these whirly gadgets can certainly help pass the time, the HUGE amount of truly extra trends that have popped up online in the last few weeks. Here are just a few of our 'favourites':
1) Fidget Spinner Lip Gloss
That's right - just what you've always wanted - a lip gloss fidget spinner! 'The Glamspin' (lol) is a fidget spinner with three built-in lip gloss compacts. There are three flavours: peach whirl, strawberry cyclone, and grape twist and it retails for $9.99. Not gonna lie, we low-key love it.
2) Fidget Spinner Nail Art
It must be an absolute nightmare to shake hands with this lady. Whether its through accidental finger injury or just plain messing up the artwork, someone is going to leave that meeting in tears.
3) Fidget Spinner Porn
Pornhub have confirmed a massive spike in search traffic for videos involving spinners. According to Mashable, video titles include 'Dank Fidget Spinner on Hot Ass' and '1000MPH Fidget Spinner Bisexual Threesome' which, to be fair, sounds pretty hilarious.
4) Fidget Spinner Guitar Plectrum
Best bit of this is when the guy goes "this is just way too difficult". Yeah, no sh*t. It's almost as if that's not what they are supposed to be used for...
5) Fidget Spinner Tinder Date Selector
How done with dating must you be to resort to this nonsense? Plus, imagine is this dude doesn't get any matches after all that - how crushing would that be?
6) Fidget Spinner Makeup Applier
7) Fidget Spinner butt plugs
Fidget spinner sex toys have arrived. An Etsy shop by the name of glowfyourself is selling one of a kind fidget spinner butt plugs and we admire their entrepreneurial spirit.
No kink shaming here. People need help focusing in all extracurricular activities.
Just make it stop guys - the spinners have a use already, let's not push this one too far shall we?
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