A Timothee Chalamet ventriloquist doll exists and it's absolutely terrifying

11 June 2019, 16:58

This Timothée Chalamet ventriloquist doll
This Timothée Chalamet ventriloquist doll is honestly so terrifying . Picture: David Crotty/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images, @talkingheadstudios

By Katie Louise Smith

The Timothée Chalamet doll could be yours to own for a cool $122,795.

Let's face it, if internet boyfriend and Oscar-nominated actor Timothée Chalamet started selling merch, we would all be scrambling to buy it. A hoodie with his face on it? *Adds to basket* Some T-Chalamet socks? I'm already at the checkout. A slanket with a word cloud featuring Kyle's lines from Ladybird? HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR IT?

However, as always a line must be drawn and the line for Timothée Chalamet is very much at this incredibly detailed and somewhat terrifying ventriloquist doll, created by talkingheadstudios (and not the imaginary Chalamet merch store I just dreamt up).

Fancy owning it yourself? Your own 26 inch, alarmingly accurate, Timothée doll complete with moving mouth and that stunning (replica) Louis Vuitton harness that he wore to the Golden Globes?

Well, good news! It's currently for sale on eBay and could be yours for the small price of... $122,795.

The small blurb at the bottom of the page describes the doll as a "one of a kind, handcrafted Timothée Chalamet ventriloquist figure, dressed in a recreation of the Louis Vuitton outfit worn to the 2019 Golden Globes, complete with beaded and sequinned harness."

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Cutting and styling the @tchalamet wig will be the death of me.

A post shared by Chris Alan (@talkingheadstudios) on

"Head, hands and ankle boots were all hand sculpted and wardrobe was custom made. Figure stands 26 inches tall and also sits independently. Body is made of white pine, upholstered in foam and quilted fabric. Head is controlled from inside body (accessed from back) by a head stick, which is outfitted with a spring loaded head lock, to keep head in place when not in use.

It's quite the creation. A work of art. Seriously... it looks incredibly well made - from the sculpted face right down to the absolutely spot-on hair. But I'm not gonna lie, it's absolutely terrifying and should be burned immediately. Others on the other hand, are very much into it.

Imagine going to sleep at night only to be woken up at 3:15am to Doll Timothée whispering Sufjan Stevens lyrics in your ear. Imagine leaving your room for 5 minutes, then coming back to see that Doll Timothée has stoked a fire in the corner and is now somehow crying real tears. Imagine if Doll Timothée brings home Doll Armie and/or Doll Saoirse and suddenly there's an army of them?

Currently, there is no word from actual Timothée Chalamet about the doll but why do we get the impression that he'll somehow be like, lowkey obsessed with it?

If money was no object, would you buy the Timothée figure? Yes or no? QUICKLY.