Here's How To Become As Big As Kim or Taylor On Instagram
10 September 2015, 13:19
45 million followers *guaranteed*.
There's a new queen of Instagram in town and she likes cats and hanging out with famous people.
Yep, T Swizzle has taken the crown for the most Instagram followers from Kim Kardashian-West. Kim must be beside herself right now.
To be honest, Kim should take comfort in her 45.6 million follower count. But what about the rest of us mere mortals? How the hell are we supposed to compete? Like, I have 132 followers. I might as well be dead.
But before ya'll start ordering a coffin, how about we conduct a detailed study to find out what are the best ways to take a selfie and generally fill your feed with awesome photos. It can't be that hard, right? Let's take a look at the best in the business to discover how to increase your followers.
1) Cat selfies will get you likes for days. If you have a cat, you should physically force it into every selfie. I don't care if it tries to scratch your face, just do it.
2) The 'fresh out the shower' look is always a good starting point. You're clean, you haven't bumped into anyone you hate yet (frowning = wrinkles!) and you can show off your dressing gown game.
3) Famous friends are key, as Taylor knows. She could literally fill a rubbish dump with friends who are models. If you don't have any famous friends, you're normal friends will do but you should be prepared to ambush celebs at any time. If you get arrested for stalking, so be it.
4) The underwear selfie is a dangerous tactic. There's a thin line between looking like Kim's Insta or a Poundland underwear advert. Lots of light (in the right places) and your most flattering angle is a must! Failing that, remember - photoshop is your friend.
5) It's common knowledge that the internet was invented for showing off. You probably haven't won a Grammy but maybe you got a retweet from your favourite pop star? Or maybe you got tickets to see Taylor Swift in London? If so, plz DM right now. I need those tickets. I WILL DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6) Pout! The more you look like a trout the better.
7) Holiday snaps are always a safe bet. People will secretly hate you for having a better time than them BUT they will like the picture so they don't appear bitter. It's literally a win win. Extra likes for involving celebs at the same time. And being on a boat.
8) Wearing an incredibly stupid outfit will also work.