Billie Eilish opens up about the meaning behind her 'everything i wanted' lyrics

14 November 2019, 12:00 | Updated: 14 November 2019, 12:22

By Sam Prance

Billie Eilish said that 'everything i wanted' is inspired by a dream in which she committed suicide and how her brother Finneas helped her deal with it.

Billie Eilish has surprise-released a brand new single called 'everything i wanted' and the lyrics are heartbreakingly personal.

Billie Eilish is well known for her raw and honest music. Ever since the 17-year-old first rose to fame, she's moved people all around the world with her candid lyrics. Billie released her debut album WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? in March this year and fans immediately fell in love with it. Every song, from 'wish you were gay' to 'bury a friend', is based on very real experiences in her life. Now Billie's opening up to her fans once again in her new song 'everything i wanted'.

READ MORE: Billie Eilish fan finds jacket given to Billie by another fan in a thrift shop

Alongside the release of 'everything i wanted', Billie Eilish has also opened up about the story and meaning behind it.

What do Billie Eilish's 'everything I wanted' lyrics mean?

Billie Eilish 'everything i wanted' lyrics: The meaning and story behind them
Billie Eilish 'everything i wanted' lyrics: The meaning and story behind them. Picture: Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images, Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for iHeartMedia

Speaking about the song with Annie Mac, Billie said: "Pretty much that whole song is about me and Finneas' relationship as siblings. We started writing it because I literally had a dream that I killed myself and nobody cared and all of my best friends and people that I worked with basically came out in public and said, like, 'Oh, we never liked her.' In the dream, the fans didn’t care. The internet shit on me for killing myself, all this stuff, and it really did mess me up."

In the lyrics, Billie sings directly about jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge to take her own life: "So I stepped off the Golden / Nobody cried / Nobody even noticed".

She adds: "I tried to scream / But my head was underwater / They called me weak / Like I'm not just somebody's daughter". Billie also addresses fame and if it's worth it: "I had a dream / I got everything I wanted". In the outro, she sings: "If I knew it all then, would I do it again?"

Billie Eilish - everything i wanted (Audio)

In the chorus, Billie recounts how Finneas helps her deal with fame and her personal demons though. She sings: "And you say, "As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you / Don't wanna lie here, but you can learn to / If I could change the way that you see yourself / You wouldn't wonder why you're here, they don't deserve you".

Discussing 'everything i wanted' in even more depth, Billie explained: "I mean, the message behind the song is like… my brother is my best friend, and I have these dreams and these things happen, and no matter what happens, he’s gonna always be there for me and it’s the same the other way around."

Billie Eilish - 'everything i wanted' lyrics

VERSE 1
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Not what you'd think
And if I'm bein' honest
It might've been a nightmare
To anyone who might care
Thought I could fly (Fly)
So I stepped off the Golden, mm
Nobody cried (Cried, cried, cried, cried)
Nobody even noticed
I saw them standing right there
Kinda thought they might care (Might care, might care)

PRE-CHORUS
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me

CHORUS
And you say, "As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you
Don't wanna lie here, but you can learn to
If I could change the way that you see yourself
You wouldn't wonder why you're here, they don't deserve you"

VERSE 2
I tried to scream
But my head was underwater
They called me weak
Like I'm not just somebody's daughter
Coulda been a nightmare
But it felt like they were right there
And it feels like yesterday was a year ago
But I don't wanna let anybody know
'Cause everybody wants something from me now
And I don't wanna let 'em down

PRE-CHORUS
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me

CHORUS
And you say, "As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you
Don't wanna lie here, but you can learn to
If I could change the way that you see yourself
You wouldn't wonder why you're here, they don't deserve you"

OUTRO
If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?
If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?