Demi Lovato says she had a heroin relapse after her 2018 overdose
31 March 2021, 14:07
Demi Lovato speaks about her relapse and her experiences with sexual assault in her Dancing with the Devil documentary.
TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains information that some people may find triggering or upsetting. Please read ahead with caution.
Last week (Mar 23), Demi released the first two episodes of Dancing with the Devil. In them, Demi opens up about what led to her initial relapse in 2018 and how she was raped by her heroin dealer the night of her overdose. Demi also explains that the overdose was so severe that she had three strokes and a heart attack. She also says that it left her with brain damage.
Now, Demi has spoken about her recovery in episode 3 and she says that she had a heroin relapse after her overdose.
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Demi says: "I wish I could say that the last night that I touched heroin was the night of my overdose but it wasn't. I had just done a week long intensive trauma retreat. The night that I came back from that retreat, I called him. I wanted to rewrite his choice of violating me. I wanted it now to be my choice. And he also had something that I wanted, which were drugs."
She adds: "I ended up getting high. I thought how did I pick up the same drugs that put me in the hospital? I was mortified at my decisions. I called him back and I said: 'No, I'm gonna fuck you.' It didn't fix anything, it didn't take anything away, it just made me feel worse. But, that for some reason, was my way of taking the power back."
Demi also opens up about how she was sexually assaulted in her teens in the episode. She says: "When I was a teenager, I was in a very similar situation. I lost my virginity in a rape. I called that person back a month later and tried to make it right by being in control and all it did was make me feel worse."
She continues: "Both times were textbook trauma reenactments. And I really beat myself up for years, which is also why I had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that it was a rape when it happened. We were hooking up and I said, 'Hey, I'm a virgin I don't want to lose it this way,' and that didn't matter to them. They did it anyways."
Demi also says: "I internalised it and I told myself it was my fault because I still went in the room with him. I still hooked up with him. I was a part of that Disney crowd that publicly said they were waiting for marriage. I didn't have the romantic first time. That was not it for me and that sucked and then I had to see that person all the time."
She ends her comments saying: "My Me Too story is telling somebody that someone did this to me and they never got in trouble for it. They never got taken out of the movie they were in."