Jesy Nelson says she was "miserable" in Little Mix
5 May 2021, 11:33 | Updated: 5 May 2021, 11:34
Jesy Nelson has also opened up about why she really left Little Mix and what fans can expect from her solo music.
Jesy Nelson has revealed that she was "miserable" in Little Mix during her first solo interview since she left the band in 2020.
Last year (Dec 14), Jesy Nelson announced that she quit Little Mix. The 29-year-old wrote: "The truth is recently being in the band has taken a toll on my mental health. I find the constant pressure of being in a girl group and living up to expectations really hard." The remaining members of Little Mix also put out a statement saying that they "are fully supportive of Jesy".
Now, Jesy has spoken at length about what led her to leave the group and why she's been recording music as a soloist.
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Speaking to Cosmopolitan bout her happiness, Jesy said: "I didn’t know that I could be this happy. I thought when I was in the group that it was just normal to feel that way. And because I’d felt like that for 10 years, I just thought, "This is life." Since I’ve left, I feel free. I don’t wake up with anxiety, thinking, "I’ve got to do a music video today, I need to starve myself." Or, "I need to go on an extreme diet so I can look like the other three." That was consuming me."
She explained further: "I constantly compared myself to the others. Of course, a lot of that was in my head, but a lot of it was past trauma. Even recently, I was still getting compared to them. It’s horrible when you already don’t like something about yourself to then have thousands of people point it out. Now I feel like me. When I look back [at my time] in the band, I genuinely wasn’t me. I can’t believe how miserable I was."
Jesy then revealed that the 'Sweet Melody' video was "the breaking point" for her. "I’d been in lockdown, and I’d put on a bit of weight but I didn’t care. And [then] they said, "You’ve got a music video in a couple of weeks," and I just panicked. I went on this extreme diet, with bloody shakes, and tried to eat as little as possible."
She continued: "There’s a scene in 'Sweet Melody' I’m not in, because that’s when I had a panic attack and broke down. I was like,"I just want to go home." I was sobbing in the dressing room. Someone really close to me said, "This has got to stop. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. You’re going to end up where you were before."
Jesy also explained why she's now making solo music. She said: "I feel like there have been a few people who don’t understand why I left Little Mix, but am now in the studio making music. I never said when I put out my statement that I was coming out of the band to never be in the public eye or perform again, or do music. I said I was coming out of the band because I genuinely couldn’t deal with the pressure of being in a girl band."
She added: "For people to think that I would just stop working completely is crazy, because [for] me, working on my mental health is going to the studio, and creating music that I love. I couldn’t deal with the pressure of being in the girl group. I was constantly compared to three other girls and that mentally drove me to a really dark place, and I couldn’t put myself through that any more."