Hayley Williams opens about having suicidal thoughts during Paramore's After Laughter era
4 February 2020, 17:43 | Updated: 4 February 2020, 17:46
"My dog is the reason I'm alive."
[WARNING: This article contains content that some may find distressing and triggering.]
Last month (Jan 22), Hayley Williams released her first official solo single outside of Paramore called 'Simmer'. The raw song is the first track from Hayley's new album Petals for Armor. Hayley has since released another single called 'Leave It Alone' in which she appears to describe suicidal thoughts. She sings: "Cause now that I want to live / Everybody around me is dying."
Talking to Apple Music, Hayley spoke frankly about her mental health and considering suicide during Paramore's After Laughter era.
In the interview, Zane asked Hayley if she's had suicidal thoughts and she said: "Yeah. Oh yeah." Tearing up, Hayley then added: "During After Laughter, it was really rough. My dog is the reason I'm alive because he would've been waiting on me to get home, no matter what... I couldn't. Wow. Never cried in an interview before."
Paramore released After Laughter a month before Hayley publicly announced that she was divorcing her ex-husband Chad Gilbert. Discussing the period, Hayley stated: "I had the hardest time being angry while we were writing After Laughter and I clearly had a lot of to be mad about. But I was depressed. And I think often depression is masking other pointed feelings."
Hayley continued: "All the things I tried to let go of, when we went on tour, just came crashing back down on top of me... I had to go to intensive therapy. It was rough. It forced me to ask a lot of questions... I was self-sabotaging left and right."
Hayley is in a better place now though. She explained: "Life is still hard. It didn't become a breeze overnight or anything and it's been years and it's still not a breeze, but it's so rich and now that I'm taking account of all these feelings and I'm feeling all of them, there's this beautiful rainbow versus just the deep end."