Selena Gomez says she contemplated suicide before her bipolar diagnosis

3 November 2022, 16:55

Selena Gomez releases emotional My Mind & Me documentary trailer

By Sam Prance

Selena Gomez speaks frankly about her bipolar disorder and her experiences with psychosis in a new Rolling Stone profile. [CW // Suicidal thoughts]

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CONTENT WARNING: This article contains details of suicidal thoughts that some readers may find disturbing.

Selena Gomez has opened up about her mental health journey and her experience with suicidal thoughts in a new interview.

Throughout her career, Selena Gomez has been a vocal advocate for mental health awareness. From ensuring that 1% of all proceeds from her Rare Beauty products go to mental health organisations, to speaking at the White House about the need for mental health education in schools, Selena continually uses her platform to inform others about mental health.

Selena also regularly speaks frankly about her own mental health struggles. Now, she's discussed her bipolar disorder and her experiences with psychosis in a Rolling Stone profile about her documentary Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me.

Selena Gomez says she contemplated suicide before her bipolar diagnosis. Picture: Michael Kovac/Getty Images for AFI, Michael Kovac/Getty Images for AFI

Speaking to Rolling Stone about her mental health, Selena said: "I’m going to be very open with everybody about this: I’ve been to four treatment centres. I think when I started hitting my early twenties is when it started to get really dark, when I started to feel like I was not in control of what I was feeling, whether that was really great or really bad."

She continued: "It would start with depression, then it would go into isolation. Then it just was me not being able to move from my bed. I didn’t want anyone to talk to me. My friends would bring me food because they love me, but none of us knew what it was. It was weeks I’d be in bed, even walking downstairs would get me out of breath."

The profile then explains that Selena never attempted suicide but "spent a few years contemplating it". Selena said: "I thought the world would be better if I wasn’t there".

Selena Gomez first opened up about her bipolar diagnosis in 2020. Picture: LANDMARK MEDIA / Alamy Stock Photo

Discussing her psychosis, Selena revealed that by 2018 she was "hearing voices" and ended up in a treatment facility where she "spent several months suspended in paranoia". Selena then explained that doctors tried out various medications on her but none of them seemed to work: "It was just that I was gone. There was no part of me that was there anymore."

Outside of the facility, Selena started working with a psychiatrist who worked out which medications she should actually be on. She said: "He really guided me. But I had to detox from the medications I was on. It took a lot of hard work for me to (a) accept that I was bipolar, but (b) learn how to deal with it because it wasn’t going to go away."

Explaining where she is now, Selena said: "I’m not fine and just back to happy life." One of the side effects of her current medication is that she likely she won’t be able to carry her own children: "That’s a very big, big, present thing in my life."

Nevertheless, Selena added: "However I’m meant to have them, I will."

Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me is available to watch on Apple TV+. Picture: LANDMARK MEDIA / Alamy Stock Photo

Disucussing her journey, Selena said: "I remind myself that I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the psychotic break, if it wasn’t for my lupus, if it wasn’t for my diagnosis. I think I would just probably be another annoying entity that just wants to wear nice clothes all the time. I’m depressed thinking about who I would be."

Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me debuts on Apple TV+ worldwide on November 4th.

If you, or someone you know, has been affected by mental health issues or has experienced suicidal thoughts, the following organisations may be able to help.