Are Coldplay Secretly Cool?: An Investigation
1 December 2015, 17:13 | Updated: 8 May 2017, 17:09
Is the world's most boring band actually kind of cool?
The mid-2000s were a weird time for Coldplay. Sure, they were winning Grammy's left and right but, by the time they dropped X&Y in 2005, Coldplay had pretty much earned themselves a reputation as The World's Most Boring Band.
Even Chris Martin thinks he is uncool. "I've never been cool and I don't really care about being cool," he once famously said. But you have to be a little cool to get Jennifer Lawrence to talk to you, right?
Even now, Coldplay still can't manage to shake the title of the world's most boring band.
Coldplay are such a set of boring pricks somebody stop them— f (@mojavewaste) November 20, 2015
But what if, and just follow me on this, Coldplay are actually kind of cool and progressive? What if the music is quite good and they are pretty cool dudes? Let's examine the facts.
Coldplay Timeline of cool song features:
2008 - Coldplay records "Lost!" with Jay Z
2009 - Chris Martin and Kanye West collaborate on "Homecoming"
2012 - "Princess of China" ft. Rihanna is included on fifth studio album Mylo Xyloto
2015 - Coldplay drop "Hymn For The Weekend" featuring Queen Bey
"Hymn For The Weekend" is a pretty standard Coldplay style collaboration. It's piano led and features Chris and Beyoncé harmonizing on a very tantalizing hook. Sonically, it's all over the place--r&b, soul, progressive rock.
Despite being a British prog rock band who write songs about being sad, Coldplay have consistently been able to score amazing features via Chris Martin and his bizarre relationship with Mr. and Mrs. Beyoncé. How many other artist can say they have collaborated with Kanye West, Jay Z, Beyoncé, and Rihanna? Not even r&b or hip-hop acts can claim to have accomplished this and yet the world's most boring band have done just that.
But lets not get ahead of ourselves. Coldplay aren't the coolest band ever, but they certainly have a quiet charm. Like that weird art major you dated in first year, there is just something about them.
Perhaps the reason Coldplay are regarded as "boring" is because of their penchant for staying in their lane. As far as front men go, Chris Martin is pretty tame. He isn't known for his outrageous proclamations or sexual escapades and he's not an actual psychopath feeding tabloid headlines.
It's rarely ever acknowledged that Coldplay's music is actually quite good. If you're a person who doesn't believe that "Yellow" is one of the best pop songs of our generation then I don't know how to help you. Coldplay get a lot of flack for being pioneers of the mid-tempo movement but I would be super relaxed too if I was Chris Martin and co.
Coldplay have over a 100 million records under their belts and seven Grammy awards to their name which makes me wonder if the whole "Coldplay aren't cool" thing really has much bearing. Like shy Tories, I suspect there are people who claim to hate Coldplay but bought "Magic" as a single on iTunes.
the days of pretending I'm too cool to like Coldplay are well and truly over— maisy (@moaninglsasmile) November 26, 2015
Maybe Coldplay aren't the coolest band in the world but the old platitudes about Coldplay being boring are very tired. In a world where Sam Smith gets to sing the Bond theme and Adele breaks records every time she opens her mouth, we can't actually pretend Coldplay don't deserve the loyal following they have.
I mean, Coldplay more boring than Sam Smith? Give me a break.