These Songs Will Teach You More Than School Ever Did
29 January 2016, 14:06 | Updated: 8 May 2017, 17:09
Welcome to the school of REALNESS!
According to rapper B.o.B., the earth's curve is a conspiracy and Neil deGrasse Tyson is a liar.
And he has all the reciepts to prove it, you guys! It's important not to be force fed all the pointless, unnecessary info they teach you in school, so here are all these things we've learned from people way more important than the actual scientific facts:
1) Gwen Stefani was the ONLY English teacher worth listening to.
Unless we're in the final of a spelling bee, learning the exact spelling of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious isn't an hour long lecture we need to sit thru. Gwen taught us the only spelling we need to know in 3 and a half minutes.
2) J Kwon taught us how to count.
Pro tip: this is also a reaaaally great tool for help on how to crack a 4-digit padlock code. Thanks J!
3) TLC taught us the danger of fast flowing rapids.
Would you trust your Geography teacher if she told you to go take a closer look at your local waterfall? No. Listen to TLC. Stay safe.
4) Panic! At The Disco taught us how to tell the time.
If someone's eyes are the size of the moon, you know for SURE that it's Nine In The Afternoon - no need to work out what those lines on your watch are pointing to.
5) Britney taught us all about strong work ethic.
Your school will ever teach you about what you REALLY need to succeed in the real word. Britney has your back.
6) Avril taught us how to get a man through the art of playground tactics.
"I don't like your girlfriend. I think you need a new one." FOOLPROOF! No ordinary adult would give such sage advice.
7) Beyonce taught us simple addition.
Let's get real... we didn't know how to do simple addition until Bey released this ballad. Also - algebra is pointless.
8) Busted taught us what the future was reaaaally going to be like.
Don't believe all the lies your Science teachers told you about the future of this earth. This song is COLD HARD FACTS.
THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW THE TRUTH!
