8 Reasons Why Gigs Are Totally Different When You're Not A Teenager Anymore
14 March 2016, 15:50 | Updated: 8 May 2017, 17:09
There are some key differences.
It may not seem like a huge leap in time but the fact is, when attending a concert, the difference in approach between the screaming teenagers and the hungover twenty somethings with sore throats is a gulf that separates us all greatly. Let's take a look at a few of the key changes.
1) Position In The Crowd.
Teens: As near to the front as possible, ideally within close enough distance to get some of the lead singer's eyebrow sweat in your mouth. Large barrier marks across the chest are to be expected and are worn as a badge of honour.
Twenties: Equidistant from the bar and toilets without being able to smell either, close enough to the stage that the band don't look like ants but far enough away that you aren't likely to get caught up in any moshpit unless by choice.
2) Choice Of Outfit.
Teens: T-shirt from the previous tour, your finest party clothes and enough make up to ensure you definitely catch the eye of the guitarist who will immediately fall in love with you and pull you up onstage to dance during the encore.
Twenties: Whatever you wore to work because you know you came straight from the office and are currently panicking about how safe your laptop is in the venue cloakroom.
3) Choice Of Beverage.
Teens: Water handed over the front railing by a disgruntled security guard who has been doing this for longer than he'd like to admit.
Twenties: Beer. Lots of it.
4) Choice Of Merch.
Twenties: A t-shirt as long as it is below £25 - you can afford higher, it's just out of principal.
5) Dance Moves.
Teens: Communal bouncing in the mosh pit, screaming every lyric into the face of your best friend, occasionally snuggling up to your partner or a good-looking stranger during the slower numbers.
Twenties: An in-time nod along to the beat, one hand on your beer, the other in your jeans pocket. If a particularly euphoric tune comes on, you may be tempted to break out some gentle rave moves. Will only bounce if instructed to by a band member from the stage and, even then, you will give up before most people around you.
6) Use Of Phones.
Teens: Every song is immediately uploaded to Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr and Facebook with plenty of pre and post-gig selfies to be uploaded the next day. By the end of the set you have the entire gig recorded on your phone. You will watch these videos once on the bus to school the next morning and then delete them forever.
Twenties: You tweet an artsy picture of the venue's signage before putting your phone away and giving death stares to anyone recording in your field of vision, muttering something like "if you put your phone down, it's in super HD" but never actually telling anyone off.
7) General Demeanour.
Teens: Screaming through tears.
Twenties: Smiling through beers.
8) Post-Concert Plan.
Teens: Queueing endlessly at the local McDonalds before calling a far-too-sober parent to come and pick you up. If the gig is at a weekend, you may also attempt to sneak into the show's after party or a nearby nightclub, clutching onto a vape as you pay the entrance fee in an effort to seem older.
Twenties: Pub until closing, Uber home, bed.
And there you have it. Kids, this is what you have to look forward to.
Don't worry, it's still pretty fun.