15 Of The WORST Lyrics From 2017 That You'll Never Want To Hear Again

28 December 2017, 17:04

Worst Lyrics 2017
Picture: Columbia/Big Machine Records/Atlantic Records

By Katie Louise Smith

*removes headphones* What the f*ck is going on in here on this day?

1) "You and me are thrifty, so go all you can eat, fill up your bag and I fill up a plate"

Ed Sheeran - Shape Of You


Listen, Ed Sheeran is a GREAT songwriter and this song will forever remain in the top three Ed Sheeran songs of all time but, my dear boy, that line about doing a cheeky scam at the Chinese buffet is the least romantic thing we've ever heard. Are you that cheap that you can't pay for your girl to have the £5 takeaway box?

2) "Got me spread like a buffet Bon a, bon appétit, baby"

Katy Perry - Bon Appetit


Look, we all know what this song is about and with that in mind... this is a visual absolutely no one asked for.

3) "I gave you the messiest head, you give me the messiest head."

Halsey ft. Quavo - Lie


Another visual we didn't need. But thank you for sharing, H.

4) "You know it's Nick Crompton and my collar stay poppin'. Yes, I can rap and no, I am not from Compton." England is my city."

Jake Paul - It's Everyday Bro


First of all, who is Nick Crompton? Second, his verse on this song is quite possibly the highest form of treason the world has ever seen. Third, wHO TOLD THIS POOR BABY HE COULD RAP?

5) "But just like the battle of Troy, there's nothing subtle here."

Selena Gomez - Bad Liar


Ok so 'Bad Liar' is a bop but Selly needs to be clearer on what part of the battle she's actually referring to because here's the thing... the battle of Troy WAS subtle. The Greek soldiers hiding inside that giant wooden horse was literally the most subtle and low-key sneak attack of all time. HISTORY LESSON OVER. GET IT TOGETHER SELENER.

6) "One Coke and Bacardi (sippin' lightly)"

Liam Payne - Strip That Down


There's just something about the daintly little "sippin' lightly" adlib that really tips this lyric over the edge. It's also such a Mum drink. No comment on the rest of the lyrics in this song.

7) "That's when I make the wish, to swim away with the fish."

Miley Cyrus - Malibu


I don't want to be that person who drags Miley's incredible little song about reuniting with Liam Hemsworth but rhyming 'wish' with 'fish' is truly a crime against songwriting.

8) "I don't like your little games, don't like your tilted stage."

Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do


We get it, Taylor. You don't like Kanye. Leave the stages out of this.

9) “He like that bang bang bang, he like that bomb bomb bomb.”

Fifth Harmony - He Like That


When you compare this to the lyrical genius of 'Work From Home', it's just tragic.

10) "You a dork, never been a sport (dork, yeah)"

Migos - Motorsport


It's 2017 and the word 'dork' is being used in a song. Did Jay Gatsby write this lyric? I can't decide if this is genius or trash, old sport.

11) "When I say I want you, say it back, parakeet. Fly in first-class through the air, Airbnb."

Calvin Harris ft. Katy Perry, Pharrell Williams and Big Sean - Feels


Um, does Big Sean know that's not how Airbnb works?

12) "A tiger don't lose no sleep, don't need opinions from a shellfish or a sheep."

Katy Perry - Swish Swish


Ahhhh, yes as the famous saying goes... "Don't lose sleep over the opinions of a SHELLFISH." Katy, are you alright babe?

13) "Woke up alone in this hotel room. Played with myself, where were you?"

Harry Styles - From The Dining Table


WELL THEN HAROLD. At least he's not ashamed about it...

14) "She like the price, she see the ice, it make her coochie melt."

DJ Khaled ft. Migos, Justin Bieber & Chance The Rapper - I'm The One


No comment.

15) Literally every single lyric in 'Despacito'.


To the non-Spanish speaking ear, 'Despacito' sounds sexy and fun and amazing and not dark and creepy at all. It's a cute, innocent lil' bop, right? WRONG. When you translate the words into English, it's literally the creepiest song of all time.

"Yes, you know that I’ve been looking at you for a long time... I must dance with you today." WEIRD.

"Slowly, I want to breathe in your neck slowly. Let me murmur things in your ear." NO THANK YOU PLEASE.

"Let me trespass your danger zones until I make you scream and you forget your last name." EXCUSEZ MOI?

Absolutely NOT.