Is Voldemort Really As Bad As Trump: In Defence Of The Dark Lord

9 December 2015, 11:34 | Updated: 8 May 2017, 17:09

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Katie Louise-Smith

By Katie Louise-Smith

"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-President!"

QUEEN ROWLING HAS SPOKEN! VOLDEMORT IS BETTER THAN TRUMP! 

 

According to a poll by the Washington Post, Lord Voldemort is polling higher in favourability ratings than actual real life Presidential Candidate, Donald Trump. YES, YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY... The fictional villain responsible for the elimination of Muggle-born wizards is more favourable than Donald Trump.

As members of the wizarding world ourselves, we've investigated these claims, pinpointed the facts and can now confirm that Voldemort is much better than Trump. Let’s examine the evidence… 

1) Voldemort’s hair is nowhere near as problematic as Trump's.

No hair, don't care. Weird hairpiece, call the police.

2) Voldemort’s got 100% times more swag than Trump.

Tailored by magic. All black everything. Runway ready.

3) Voldemort is a much much MUCH better mentor than Donald Trump.

Does Donald Trump hand out hugs?!? BET HE DOESN'T.

4) Voldemort does a better karaoke rendition of My Heart Will Go On than Trump.

Actually, this one isn't fair... we've never seen Trump's karaoke skills but we can't imagine they're better than the Dark Lord's.

5) Voldemort actually had a really tough childhood.

Wah. 

6) Voldemort has a much warmer smile.

It's like, the most genuine smile of all time.

7) Voldemort has kinder eyes.

Well, not according to the book obviously, but in the movie... we'd honestly swim in that deep blue.

8) Voldemort gave us Harry Potter… what has Donald Trump ever done?!

Victory for Voldemort.

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