Are Topshop Taking The F*cking Piss With These "Jeans" Or What?

Topshop Trousers
Katie Louise-Smith

By Katie Louise-Smith

ANSWER: Yes, yes they are.

If you were shook about those window-knee jeans that Topshop are currently still trying to sell, then we're not quite sure you're ready to feast your eyes on their latest offering in the trouser department. 

Ladies, behold the clear plastic straight leg jeans, yours for only £55.


What the fuckity F U C K?!


As per the Topshop website, here's the WILD styling suggestions and product description: "Think outside the box with these out-of-the-ordinary clear plastic jeans – guaranteed to get people talking. In a straight leg cut, they feature classic pockets detailing and are cropped at the ankle bone. Ideal as a statement piece for a festival or costume party, take the look to the extreme with a bikini and sequin jacket or dress down, layered under an oversized jumper or asymmetric hem dress."


Let's just discuss the practicality of these trousers for a second. First of all, where and when the f*ck are you going to wear them? Because they don't exactly scream 'dress down' do they? For a festival? Go on then, I dare you. You'll be waterproofed AF but don't come crying to me when you're sweating in the middle of the crowd at the Pyramid Stage at Glasto and the condensation is slowly rising. You've all seen that episode of Friends where Ross can't get out of his leather trousers... it wasn't cute.

NBC / via

Second, you're going to have to shave your legs. Let's face it. I'm sorry. Third, you're looking at least two extra layers under there; underwear and some shorts or tights. Unless you're brave enough to just wear your underwear? Each to their own, I guess.

A clear PVC raincoat? Yes, sign me up, add me to your mailing list, call me at inappropriate times of the day asking me if I've been in a car accident but clear plastic 'jeans'? It's a no from me. 


____ ____ ____ ____ ____

Listen to the #PopBuzzPodcast with Secret Midnight Press’ Ashley Dun & Jesse Cale and Carmen Carrera right here or subscribe for free on iTunes to get new episodes sent straight to your phone every Friday.