66 Thoughts You Definitely Had Watching The First Episode Of '13RW' Season 2

18 May 2018, 11:21 | Updated: 18 May 2018, 13:13

13 Reasons Why Season Two Episode One
Picture: Netflix
Woodrow Whyte

By Woodrow Whyte

Warning: major spoilers ahead!

13 Reasons Why season two is finally available to stream on Netflix and the first episode has us all kinds of fucked up. If you haven't seen the first episode already, then prepare yourself some major spoilers ahead.

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Hannah Baker the friendly ghost appeared out of nowhere, Clay is now in a relationship with Skye and getting questionable tattoos, Bryce is still a creep and don't even get me started on Monty's ass injection. And that's not even mentioning the polaroids or the (wild) revelation that the Bakers aren't using Hannah's tapes in the trail. What the actual fuck.

Anyway, we had some FEELINGS that we just had to get out before we move on to the next 12 episodes. FML, indeed.

1. *Lady Gaga voice* Hhhheeeere we gooooooo....

2. Ok we're off to a bad start: Tyler is narrating. It's too early in the game for this. I need more time.

3. I always wanted to like Tyler but, like, he's a stalker. And possibly a soon-to-be mass murderer?

4. CLAY AND SKYE. ON A BIKE. TOGETHER. LOOKING COUPLE-Y *faints*

5. Did...did they just kiss?! Hannah is legit turning in her grave right now. Nice one, Clay.

6. Clay, do not get a tattoo. You're not fooling anyone sweetie. You'll always be our adorable Helmet to us.

7. *sees Clay faint* And THAT'S why you don't get a tattoo, kids.

8. Oh God, please don't tell me they're going to...

9. *watches Clay and Skye get it on* OH SWEET JESUS NO

10. IT'S TOO SOON GUYS

11. Ok that got awkward. I'm glad they stopped but still...

12. Oh hey Lainie! Still representing the devil incarnate?

13. Ahh, she pulled out of the case. Thank GOD for that.

14. Hang on, why isn't Clay testifying? What kind of BS is this?

15. I don't like angry Clay. He should be nicer to his mother, even if she was representing a horrible school.

16. *Hannah Baker appears* Oh HERE she is! Hey girl, what's poppin' boo? We missed you!

17. Why am I talking to her like she's not dead? Jfc.

18. BUT ALEX ISN'T THOUGH! YAAAASSSSS!

19. I LOVE the new natural hair colour. Werk it!

20. Wait, Alex might not testify too? What in tarnation?

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21. Olivia Baker...at a gun range? Christ. What is up with this programme and guns?

22. I need the names and address of every scumbag that wrote graffiti on those signs at the Bakers.

23. *reads "You ain't seen shit yet?" on Tyler's photos* Oooh bitch!

24. Can someone explain to me why Alex's suicide note was just casually left on the side like that?

25. Is Alex fucked up from the injury or is he lying/acting? I can't tell.

26. I'm rooting for you Olivia. Truly. But I fucking hate that wig, I'm sorry.

27. *Bryce appears on screen* *throws laptop against the wall*

28. Bryce just casually injected steroids into Monty's butt. Season two is officially fucked up.

29. Ngl Monty's butt is looking thicc. Don't @ me.

30. Wait, WHAT?! The tapes aren't being used as evidence? Then why the FUCK did we all have to listen to them in the first place? I'm stressed and hungry.

31. "There's more than one side to a story". Yeah, we know babe. There's 13. We did this last season.

32. Sorry, I can't stop thinking about Monty's butt.

33. Awww Jess & Alex together makes us happy! Enjoy this wholesome moment guys, this is as nice as it's going to get.

34. Liberty High students aren't allowed to talk about Alex, Hannah or suicide? That sounds healthy to me. Smh.

35. I see like 5 or 6 jocks in the school hallway but none of them are Justin. Where the hell is he?

36. Someone's forgotten to paint over the girls loos again. Will these people ever learn?

37. Surprise surprise, Bryce has twisted the story. *punches fist through the other wall*

38. Does Tyler have a ginger beard or am I, like Clay, just hallucinating?

39. "There's the people who get hurt and there's those who are doing the hurting". Tyler just fucked me up.

40. I still don't like Mr Porter but choking Bryce is definitely a step in the right direction.

41. I mean, it's great that you're feeling better Alex but carrying the note around is a little wild.

42. The first polaroid!!! WHO'S IN THE PHOTO!?! I don't know her?

43. Who is Scott and why is he acting so strange? I'm getting more stressed and more hungry.

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44. TONY! Our dad is back! Thank the LordT.

45. The school asked him to testify? That is very sus.

46. Ahh, prince of Snakes, Ryan is back and looking very shifty.

47. Omg Tony, what the hell did you do? I thought you were one of the good guys.

48. Is everyone a dickhead now? *stares into distance, single tear falls down face*

49. Hi Chloe, I instantly don't like you and I don't know why.

50. Tyler and Alex are friends now? Awwww (but don't think we've forgotten what you did, Tyler)

51. Bryce's Dad with Principle Bolan? I smell a cover up.

52. PROTECT JESS AT ALL COST.

53. Fuck off, Bryce.

54. Phew! Well done, Jess. You did good dealing with Bryce. Only another 12 episodes to go...

55. I don't know who is more pressed about Hannah's secret sexting, me or Clay.

56. I'm kinda living for Hannah's cockblocking between Clay & Skye.

57. "You owe me" OH JESUS WHAT DID YOU DO TONY?!?!?!

58. Destroying evidence is not cool, kids. Plus it's illegal. Tony, you played yourself.

59. Jess. Do NOT go to the door.

60. HELL NO! WHO THE FUCK WOULD DO THAT!?!?

61. Jess, honestly I'm so sorry about this. You deserve better.

62. Hannah the cockblocking ghost is back again!

63. You speak now? Oh, indeed.

64. Christ another 12 episodes of this?

65. I need a nap.

66. I can't get Monty's ass out of my mind.

If you're affected by any of the issues discussed in 13 Reasons Why, head to 13reasonswhy.info.

Want to read 13 Reasons Why spoilers? Head over here. 

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