How To Date Cole Sprouse In 15 Simple Steps

7 June 2017, 13:07 | Updated: 7 June 2017, 13:11

Cole Sprouse Childhood Crush
Katie Louise-Smith

By Katie Louise-Smith

An unofficial scientific sleuth into dating the Sprouse twin that is not Dylan.

We know you've all been wondering... what exactly does one need to do in this world to get a date with Cole Sprouse? Well, after quite an in depth sleuth on his Instagram, we've worked out EXACTLY what it takes to date Cole Sprouse, just for the LOLs. 

Check them off as you go, and if you score full marks then congratulations, that means absolutely nothing.

First of all, you should probably be really into having your picture taken for the 'Gram. Snapchat filters are banned obvz.


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onJul 27, 2014 at 11:55am PDT


And you should really hone your appreciation for pictures of old men in their natural habitats. 


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onMay 31, 2017 at 7:23pm PDT


An appreciation of flowers is key. In fact, it's a must.


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onAug 18, 2015 at 1:44pm PDT


A keen interest in Climate Change and sustainable energy resources would be good. Makes for a nice conversation topic, doesn't it?


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onJun 11, 2014 at 8:38am PDT


Make sure you've got a valid drivers license so you can drive Cole to his many deserted photography locations - for which you will be the subject.


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onJan 1, 2016 at 11:21am PST


But whatever you do, do NOT try to sneak a picture of him. 


Not but 30 seconds after arriving on the plane, a quick glance to my right revealed this seafoam sapiens breathing heavily and scrambling for her phone. Little lady must've thought, just because her phone matched her shirt, that I wouldn't detect her desperate photos. Firstly, my vision is based on fear, and I saw you right away. Second, nay. The victim: @tater_tots15 claimed it was a "tie." Her innocent account name perfectly reflects how violently she lost. She posted a picture of our duel, in which my debonair gait and relaxed posture so too reflects how prepared I was for her ludicrous display of #AeronauticArseholery. My Cheshire grin must have scared the other passengers, and I was quickly escorted off the plane for being #TooDamnBomb #cameraduels

A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@camera_duels) onAug 3, 2014 at 9:28am PDT


Part of the deal is that you have to hang out with Cole's almost offensively attractive guy friends like KJ Apa. A real deal breaker. 


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onMar 24, 2017 at 6:14am PDT


If you don't like dogs, then you better fix it. Because Cole also likes dogs. And everyone knows the only thing that matters in a relationship is the dog. 


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onJan 8, 2015 at 4:19pm PST


Invest in a good pair of hiking boots because it looks like there'll be a lot of walking involved in your weekend activities. 


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onMar 13, 2017 at 4:01pm PDT


You should probably start working on your rock climbing skills too because there will be a lot of standing and sitting on rocks in this relationship.


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onSep 19, 2015 at 5:24pm PDT


You should probably take a few pottery classes before you start dating Cole. Because he did it once too.


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onSep 17, 2014 at 9:30am PDT


Your wardrobe will need to compliment his Jack Dawson from Titanic aesthetic. 


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onSep 29, 2015 at 7:39pm PDT


You will need to have an appreciation for fine food. 


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onMar 7, 2015 at 2:48pm PST


You're going to need to provide a steady camera hand for any unexpected on-screen family reunions.


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onJun 15, 2015 at 4:22pm PDT


And of course, you're going to have to be able to tell the difference between Cole and Dylan too. 


A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@colesprouse) onJul 20, 2014 at 4:54pm PDT


Now, go forth and date Cole Sprouse, we guess. You're welcome. 

The CW

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