If "American Horror Story" Is Gonna Be About Spiders Then YOU CAN FORGET IT
24 August 2016, 17:31 | Updated: 6 November 2017, 10:33
There's far too many spider theme teasers now. We're shook.
"Arachnophobia", "Eight Legged Freaks", "Harry Potter and the Chamber Of Secrets" - all three are terrifying films that we will never ever watch again. And we really don't wanna have to add "American Horror Story" Season 6 to that list!
You know all that promotional material they've been dropping in the build up to September 14? Well, there seems to be a fair few themes embedded within them. First we spotted the disturbing alien theme and now, after a glimpse of a brand new billboard in LA, we've spotted one that promises to be even more terrifying. Spiders. And they're everywhere.
Seriously, if this is a taste of what is to come then we are logging off, throwing our laptops into a garbage can and leaving planet earth. We didn't sign up for this! You want evidence? Here it is:
Exhibit A: *This* disgusting poster
Strike one was the terrifying yet eerily beautiful first teaser poster. This one was bearable. If you squint and tilt your head to side, they just look like really really long eyelashes which is ok, we suppose. We'll let this one pass. FOR NOW.
Exhibit B: *This* nasty-ass teaser trailer
Strike two. If you weren't quite satisfied with spiders crawling out from under your eyelids, here's a NASTY tarantula crawling out of someones mouth. We almost threw up. Not ok.
Exhibit C: *This* horrifying billboard
Strike three. The final straw. We're starting to feel personally attacked right now.
And we're not the only ones who are shook either.
I'm not going to watch the sixth season of American Horror Story if they keep posting about spiders like wtf man— Joseph (@Joecrazy117) August 21, 2016
wish that American horror story poster with the spider lashes would fuck off I don't watch the show and i'm fucking scared of spiders— (@mell0ncollie_) August 12, 2016
Is the new season of American Horror Story about spiders? Because I fr won't watch it.— Mariah. (@MixMalikMarvel) August 7, 2016
If there is loads of spiders in series 6 of ahs then I'm not watching it— georgia sanger (@mitamcashton) August 22, 2016
When there's spiders coming out of the eyes and mouth of people for AHS I'm really questioning whether I want to watch this season or not— Courtney (@CourtTalerico) August 21, 2016
If AHS season 6 is about spiders I will cry every day until season 7.— Emily Wells (@emily_thegreat_) August 20, 2016
Please tell us we haven't just waited an entire year for this to end up being about spiders. Please.