Bella Thorne says she was molested her "whole life" in emotional poem
22 August 2019, 14:53 | Updated: 14 October 2019, 16:01
In an emotional poem shared to Instagram, Bella Thorne opens up about being molested and seeking validation from others. She also talks about loving herself.
Bella Thorne has been very open about her journey and personal experiences for as long as we can remember. Her new book, The Life of a Wannabe Mogul: Mental Disarray, is a collection of personal poems and images that give insight into the 21-year-old's life.
This week, Bella shared an emotional poem on her Instagram where she talks about seeking validation from others, being a victim of molestation "all her life" and being "exposed to sex" at a young age.
Bella also included a set of intimate photos along with the poem shared on Instagram.
Read Bella's full poem below:
"What is wrong with me? Why do I always need Validation from everyone but mostly men... Everyone keeps telling me to be single, be alone, and make your self happy. But All those things sound so fucking scary to me. all I want is him. I want him to hold me, I want him to love me, I want him to tell me it's ok, I want him to look me in the eyes and let me know I'm accepted. Why? Because I can't accept myself. For some reason in my head I'm just not fucking good enough. Not good enough for him or Her or anyone else. And if it's not him I just look for the "next" him, or her Why can't I just look for the next me? Find me and accept me.
"Was it because I was molested my whole life. Exposed to sex at such a young age it's all I know how to offer to the world...or is it because I was raised to think I wasn't good enough. Not good enough for her or anything else. But it doesn't matter what happened to me.. What matters is whats happening to me right now.
"I can't blame my childhood, in fact I can't blame anyone for anything. All I can do is blame me. I blame me for not loving myself. I blame me for not thinking I'm attractive, I blame me for putting this on everyone around me. Expecting people to love me enough for me to love myself. But at the end of the day that will never happen. Because the only way to get to your end goal is to work through it. Not around or above or try and find a cheat code so you don't have to hurt as much. You have to hurt in this world. Hurting, loving, and accepting. That's what our emotional world lays on.
"Right now I only have one of those things. Can you guess what it is? Hurting. Right now I only hurt...but I'm not hurting for other people no I'm only hurting myself. By not loving me and by not accepting me. Usually these free handed writing bits..they have an end, but I don't have an end. I'm still figuring it out as always. So is that ok? Is it ok to know what your end goal Is but absolutely no way or idea how to achieve it. It's probably not but I can only start by accepting it.
This poem is about mommy and daddy and me and you."
Bella also shared two other poems on Instagram this week about learning and being boxed in. These poems also included the same style of intimate photos apparently shot by Bella's boyfriend Benjamin Mascolo.
Bella has previously shared writing about her parents, including an emotional poem about her late father.
Bella is currently promoting her fourth book. The Life of A Wannabe Mogul.