Every Single "Riverdale" Character EVER Ranked From Worst To Best
11 January 2019, 11:50 | Updated: 11 January 2019, 12:27
Who is the best character on Riverdale? There's only one way to find out...
There's long been a debate around who the best character on Riverdale actually is. For some of us, we have our solid favourites but for the rest of the fandom, things tend to shift from episode to episode as the characters evolve and... well, die. Here at PopBuzz HQ, we all pledge allegiance to several different characters so we decided to end the madness once and for all and rank every single character in the show to find out who *actually* is the best character on Riverdale.
The rules are simple: The character has had to have appeared on screen and/or have an actual name. And please note: Only the CHARACTERS have been taken into account, this ranking is not based on the ACTORS.
Are we clear? Are you ready? Every single character from Riverdale ranked. Who will be crowned King or Queen? 3, 2, 1... GO.
81) Clifford Blossom
Clifford Blossom. Where do I begin? Bad wigs, for a start. Terrible wigs. And um, I don’t know about you guys but shooting your own son point blank in the head is like, pretty bad, huh? THE WORST!
80) Hal Cooper
Shot Fred Andrews for no reason. Tried to kill Cheryl for no reason. Killed Midge FOR NO REASON. Terrorised his own daughter (!!). Cheated on his wife. Tried to kill her too. Tried to scam her out of inheritance money. Told her to abort her unborn baby. Told his other daughter to abort her babies. Was literally a serial killer. *takes a deep breath and exhales* SHOVE IT, HAL.
79) Nick St Clair
Nick St Clair is truly the epitome of human trash. Spoiled rich kid, so hyped off his own privilege that he thinks he can come in heeeeere, sexually assault my girls and try to beat up my boyfriend Archie Andrews?! HELL NO. Like, first of all, chill out on the Jingle Jangle, sir. And second of all, get over yourself.
78) Nick St Clair’s parents
Parents of trash human are also trash? Groundbreaking.
77) Miss Grundy
Miss Grundy is, without a doubt, one of the worst characters to ever grace the streets of Riverdale. Not only has she slept with (at least) three underage students, she also encouraged Archie to pursue his dreams of being a musician. And that, my friends, is unforgivable.
76) Myles McCoy
There’s a big debate around who the worst parent in Riverdale is and aside from the obvious murderers and abusers that have already been listed above, Josie’s dad has a great shot at winning. Josie is literally the most unproblematic and talented student in her school and he still won’t give her and her amazing vocals the time of day? He can choke.
75) Sister Woodhouse
She can choke too.
74) Tall Boy
Once upon a time, I thought I could trust Tall Boy. He seemed like the kind of guy you'd want on speed dial just in case anything bad ever happened, ya know? A real ride or die. Turns out, he’s a filthy traitor. And if the tea about him being the second Black Hood is indeed true, that means he also tried to kill Fred in his own god damn house so… in the bin he goes.
Mustang had a hand in the torturing and murdering of Riverdale's golden child, Jason Blossom and he was also one of the only Serpents dumb enough to get killed on the job. SAD!
72) Joseph Svenson
I mean… did he ever really have anything to do with Hal’s Black Hood bullshit or was he just an innocent man roped in via blackmail? Either way, it doesn’t matter… he still donned the hood and he still tried to kill my precious children Betty and Archie. He deserved it. BYE.
71) Warden Norton
I don't care if he was caught up in a game of Gryphons and Gargoyles, the man was a mess! WHO BRANDS A 16 YEAR OLD?! WHO?!
70) Oscar Castillo
You probably won’t even remember him and to be honest, that’s a good thing. He was another enabler to Archie’s music career and quite frankly, one should be jailed for such behaviour. (I’m just kidding, Archie’s music really isn’t as bad as I’m making it out to be... or is it?)
For style and aesthetics alone, Malachai would easily be top ten with that jawline and signature studded leather jacket. But him and his gang tried to destroy Riverdale, almost killed Jughead in the process and now he's part of Hiram's evil Disney villain line up so… it's gonna have to be a no from me for now, Chief.
68) Hiram Lodge
As deliciously devious and interesting as he is, Hiram really is a terrible terrible human, isn’t he? The shady mob boss business dealings can be forgiven but the fact that he used a sixteen year old boy as a pawn in his petty little game, tried to destroy his relationship with his father and then ruined his life by framing him for murder? Absolutely NOT. AND he ordered a hit on Jughead? YOU’RE A GROWN ASS MAN, SIR! PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!
67) Sheriff Minetta
Also known as, Hiram’s little bitch. I don’t like him. I don't trust him. And even though he is kinda hot, he is #NotMySheriff.
66) Mrs Wright
Corrupt. Lock her up.
65) Paul Sowerberry
Literally who? Apparently he's Hiram's attorney from season one but I don't recall. Probably corrupt, seeing as he's dealing with Hiram. Sorry!
64) Marty Mantle
HE LITERALLY BEAT HIS SON! TRASH!
63) Penelope Blossom
Recently self-employed as a lady of the night, Penelope has been serving looks AND serving tea while Clifford is rotting in the ground. But however iconic she might be, she still spent years emotionally abusing her own daughter and literally drove her to a conversion camp. I know, I know, she had a terrible childhood but does that excuse her diabolical actions as an adult? No it does not. I’m sorry my dear but you are UP for elimination.
62) The Sugar Man/Robert Phillips
The sheer nerve of Dr Charles Percy from Grey's Anatomy Mr Phillips to sell drugs in the same school where he teaches?! I'd say it was genius but he was stupid enough to get caught so... bye.
Beat up Chic at the motel then turned up to the Cooper house with nothing but a sad switch blade. Go back to Centerville, Marcel. No one cares.
Who gave her the right to come into MYYYYYYY house and disrespect MYYYYYYY mother like that? I'll give her credit where credit is due... like a true scammer, she saw an opportunity and she took it but if she ever comes back, I'll fight her myself.
59) Shady Guy
We barely knew the shady guy but he was clearly up to something shady.
58) Penny Peabody
Listen, I LOVE Penny but rules are rules… and she is a snake of the highest order. Teaming up with the Ghoulies after being banished by the Serpents and returning to beat up a sixteen year old and leave him for dead? I know Jughead skinned her first but that was just out of line! Also, she might be dead now. RIP?
57) Claudius Blossom
Conspired with Penelope to kill Nana Blossom by pushing her down the stairs and is now part of Hiram's evil gang of villains, shifting Fizzle Rocks all over the damn shop. He might have brilliant dinner table banter but he’s as shifty as his twin brother.
56) Polly Cooper
Polly has been missing for the majority of this show but that doesn’t mean she's about to get away with anything. This one? She’s trouble. She has the darkness, not Betty. At the end of season two, Lil Miss Cooper persuaded her mother to join a cult which, as we all know, is only going to end in tears. And if it ends in death? She’ll be catching these hands. She also called her children Juniper and Dagwood - that’s grounds for a lawsuit.
55) Evelyn Evernever
TOO CREEPY! DON'T TRUST HER!
54) Daryl Doiley
Hands down, the most suspicious of all the parents on that fateful night at school back in the 90s. Also, WHO KILLED HIM?!
53) Jason Blossom
Jason Blossom was annoying as fuck. There... I said it.
52) Laurie Lake
We knew she was not to be trusted. AND WE WERE RIGHT.
51) Cassidy Bullock
From the second we met him in the store at Shadow Lake, we knew he was fishy. Lo and behold, later in the episode he shows up with three pals in black hoods and attempts to rob the Lodge Lodge. Did he deserve to be killed? No, that was a bit much. A bit of good old fashioned blackmail would have done the job... but nothing is ever that simple in Riverdale.
50) Ethel's Mum
Deserves better but doesn't get enough screen time.
49) Principal Featherhead
Any principal who issues Saturday detentions is just doing the most. Take a day off, Featherhead!
48) Principal Weatherbee
Weatherbee means well, it’s not his fault everyone who surrounds him is useless. Should probably take a sabbatical, he looks like he could do with a break.
47) Ginger Lopez and Tina Patel
Cheryl's previous right hand sis and left hand sis. Both shady snitches and spillers of tea. Never voted in the battle between Cheryl and Veronica for Head Cheerleader. After all that's happened over the past few years, don't they know how important it is to GET OUT AND VOTE?!
46) Moose Mason
My boy’s been through a lot. His girlfriend was murdered by Hal Cooper, he was shot by Hal Cooper… I just want someone to give Moose a break, you know? Maybe he needs to move away and find himself, find what he really wants to do with his life.
45) Farmer McGinty
Never mind the Black Hood, McGinty is TRULY the creepiest guy we've ever seen in Riverdale. That being said, he 100% needs to come back again to spill more tea on the Riverdale Reaper and Nana Blossom's involvement with that gang of murderers. It's what we deserve.
44) Small Fry
Despite proving himself to be a loyal son to the iconic Poppa Poutine, Small Fry broke into the Lodge's apartment and attempted to murder Mi Amor and our beloved Mija. Not a smart move, Small Fry. You got what you deserved.
43) Poppa Poutine
If I ever decided to become part of the mob, I'd wanna be in Poppa Poutine's organisation. Mainly because he has the best poutine.
42) Chuck Clayton
To be fair to Chuck, he is on the path to redemption but the playbook will not be forgotten. His efforts in the school musical were much appreciated but he needs more screen time to really flesh out that redemption arc.
41) Coach Clayton
Unproblematic fave who cut his own problematic son from the football team after the playbook got out. He also seems to be one of the only parents in this town with some morals. Bring him back.
40) Chic Cooper
He scammed us like he scammed Alice but you can’t deny the fact that Chic was a thrill from start to finish. There’s a lot we still don’t know about Chic; did he really kill Charles or was he lying? Is he just a boy looking for a family or is he an actual psychopath? The jury is still out on this one. Chic's story is not over yet.
39) Agent Adams
From day one, we knew Agent Adams was an untrustworthy bitch. At first he was an FBI agent shadowing Archie, then he was revealed to be linked to the Lodge family and THEN he double crossed the Lodges by working with Lenny and Carl. PICK A FUCKING SIDE, ADAMS!
38) Charles Smith
WE DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM BUT HE LOOKS SO CUTE IN THAT PICTURE. BRING ME MY FALICE LOVE CHILD. AND PLEASE DON'T LET HIM BE PROBLEMATIC.
37) Trev Brown
Valerie’s unproblematic brother. He quit the football team after he saw Chuck's playbook and spilled the tea to the amateur sleuths about it's whereabouts. A legend. We stan.
Andre doesn't deserve the slander he gets but unfortunately that's what you get when you fall into bed with the Lodges and end up dying on the job. Also, Smithers was the best at guarding doors. SORRY ABOUT IT!
35) Dilton Doiley
If you had asked me during season 2, I would have 100% included Dilton on my dream fictional heist team; knows his way around the woods, has access to fire-arms if needed, has a good underground hide-out. But now, I can't include him. Because he's dead. And that's a real shame. Peace out, Dilton.
34) Ben Button
Of all the people in Riverdale, you know that this boy has some TEA! He’s worked at the Drive-In and the Bijou so he probably knows ALL the goings on between the Serpents, the Ghoulies, the Bulldogs... He really did have the potential to be Riverdale's Gossip Girl but then he killed himself in the name of the Gargoyle King. SUCH A WASTE!
33) Hot Dog
12/10, would not let him get kidnapped by the Ghoulies and be starved for three months.
32) Ethel Muggs
Ethel is a real mixed bag. Sometimes she’s a real one, sometimes she’s so infuriating that you just wanna scream and shake her. She sent those poison pen letters all because she wanted to be Carrie in the musical (petty) and she really let the team down when she got all up in that Gryphons and Gargoyles mess. But, at the end of the day, Ethel isn't the worst.
31) Gladys Jones
A messy bitch who lives for drama. We've only known her for five minutes but if Gladys' motives and intentions are in the right place, she might just be able to redeem herself. We mean, yeah, when she refused to let Jughead come to Toledo after FP was arrested? That was very shitty but it sounds like she had a reason for it. And besides, clocking Hiram's big game plan, saving Archie and Jug and handling Penny Peabody in one night? I'm shaking. We have decided to stan until we're given a reason not to.
30) Juniper and Dagwood
Juniper and Dagwood are honestly the most underrated characters in this whole show. The things they have seen! The things they must know! And like, I know it would be mean to separate the babies and rank them separately BUT... Juniper is obviously the best one. You know that Blossom twin theory? How one twin always snaps on the other? Dagwood will be the one to snap. Watch.
SMITHERS, MY MAN!! The purest soul who only wanted the best. Deserved none of what Hiram threw at him but at least he's safe at the bus station away from the mob dealings at the Pembrooke now. God speed, Smithers. See you again someday.
14/10, would not abandon after selfishly pleading guilty to committing a murder I knew full well that I didn't do.
27) Mad Dog
This king saved Archie's life and risked his own in doing so. He deserves more. Hope he gets his visitations rights back so he can see his family and girlfriend again. Also, very good abs.
26) Melody Valentine
Melody is one of the most underrated characters on this show and she deserves some more screen time, some more dialogue and some GOD DAMN RESPECT. BRING HER BACK. WHERE IS SHE?
25) Sierra McCoy
Resigning as Mayor of this godforsaken town was the best thing that Sierra could have ever done. Free from the drama that comes with being mayor, she's bagged herself a HDR (Hot Dad of Riverdale™) and is now lawyering up (free of charge?) for the teens of Riverdale. Honestly, we should all feel bad for sleeping on her and doubting her for this long.
24) Tom Keller
Sure, he had his off days as Sheriff but lemme tell you something about Tom Keller… the man will fight if you need him to. One third of the Hot Dads of Riverdale™ brigade, my man Keller is ready to take on whatever comes his way. He's also like, a really good dad, which is nice.
23) Midge Klump
MY JINGLE JANGLE QUEEN DESERVED BETTER!
22) Toni Topaz's Grandpa
IDK, he seems like a legend.
21) Nana Rose Blossom
Nana Rose has long been a fan favourite at PopBuzz - her savage one liners are iconic and the way she literally risked breaking every bone in her body by crawling to the phone to let Toni know that Cheryl had been forced into the Sisters of Quiet Mercy was legendary.
HOWEVER, due to recent developments, it sounds like Nana Blossom might actually be way more evil than we thought she was. Going to an orphanage and grooming little girls to become wives for her son?! WHEW! GRANDMA PLZ!
20) Hermione Lodge
Hermione has been like three different people throughout this whole show. She's gone from nice hard working lady to scheming mob wife and potential Lodge king pin to woman trapped in a miserable marriage with a dangerous gangster. However, deep down, to us, she's still that wholesome mum who wants nothing but the best for her daughter. At this point, we're all just waiting for Hermione to snap and, when she does, Hiram's not gonna know what hit him.
19) Reggie Mantle
It's been a long time coming but Reggie Mantle is finally getting his time to shine. As long as he never double crosses Ronnie and supports her hopes and dreams, he's good with us. So far, so good!
18) Josie McCoy
Contrary to popular beliefs, Josie is not just a musical plot device. Josie is intelligent, she's talented, she's brilliant, she's show-stopping, she's amazing, she's spectacular, she is a taker of no bullsh*t, she is assertive, she is driven, sure she's a little bit entitled but honestly, who isn't? SHE'S EARNED IT. There's still so much to explore with Josie and it's about time the show did it. Give her a man too, while you're at it.
17) Mary Andrews
Mary is the literal representation of the fandom: sick of Archie's bullshit. Probably the only parent in town (when she's here, of course) who has a clue. Honestly, Riverdale doesn't deserve Mary. Now where is my high-powered law drama spin-off set in Chicago that focuses on Mary Andrews' career?
16) Valerie Brown
I know I said I hated Josie's dad at the beginning of this, but he was right about one thing... Valerie is the best Pussycat. And that's that on that. Come back, Queen... we miss you!
15) Archie Andrews
Despite all his flaws, Archie Andrews is one of - if not - the most selfless people in Riverdale. Yes he’s annoying as fuck, yes he’s an idiot for falling for Hiram’s petty schemes but he’s a 16-year-old boy! Archie will do anything to help anyone, whether they're a friend or not - he saved Cheryl's life for God's sake. I'm gonna start giving him the credit he deserves. New year, new me.
14) Fangs Fogarty
Fangs hasn't had much screen time yet but it's coming... and he will get that Serpent glo-up he truly deserves. The unsung hero of the Southside high squad and a one-time potential romantic interest for Kevin. After almost losing him in season two, he has become more important to me. I have decided to stan... forever.
13) Sweet Pea
If Sweet Pea asked me give up my entire life as I know it to run away with him and join the Serpents, I would say yes. He can be hot-headed and make rash decisions at times but you know what, I'm chalking that down to passion. Sidenote: No one - NO ONE - wears a turtle neck quite like Sweet Pea.
12) Joaquin DeSantos
Ever since Joaquin got on that bus to San Junipero, our lives have never been the same. When he came back in season 3 as a prisoner in juvie with Archie, we thought our dreams had come true. Cut to four episodes later and Joaquin was found blue-lipped, dead as shit in an arm chair at Sunnyside trailer park. He didn't deserve to fall victim to Gryphons and Gargoyles. He deserved to runaway with Kevin and live happily ever after. Goodnight, sweet serpent prince, we'll miss you!
11) Pop Tate
LEGEND! OUTSOLD! WE STAN! HE DID THAT! YOUR FAVE COULD NEVER!
10) Jellybean Jones
Before we even saw her on-screen, we knew Jellybean was going to be a legend - and we were right. This lil' Doc Martens-wearing, slingshot-wielding baby mechanic is everything. The one true Serpent Queen. Don't @ me.
9) Kevin Keller
Kevin is literally the one friend that we all deserve - he's kind, he's thoughtful, he's loyal, he's funny, he's there when you need him, he's brilliant at giving advice, he has expert delivery on those witty one liners, he watches RuPaul's Drag Race. Honestly, if we all had a Kevin in our lives, we would be better people. All I want for my birthday this year is a nice boyfriend... for Kevin.
8) Jughead Jones
I'm going to level with you, season one Jughead did nothing for me and season two Jughead pissed me off. But over the seasons, Jughead has gone from strength to strength, he's matured and has finally stepped into his own light. Did you ever think the same Juggie from season one would haul his ass to Greendale with Penny Peabody in tow, skin her and leave her in the dust? (Not his finest hour but we'll let it slide. She did almost have him killed...)
Let's face facts, without Jughead, Archie would be dead (probably) and several murder investigations would still be on-going so it's safe to say that the boy has earned his stripes. He's grown into his role as the new leader of the Serpents perfectly and you know what? I'M READY TO PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE.
7) Toni Topaz
When Toni was first introduced, she caught a lot of unjust heat from the fandom because of that whole ‘she’s gonna break up Bughead!’ fiasco but this Southside legend is the ONE. After a rocky start with all that Bughead nonsense, Toni really came into her own and she's only just getting started.
Never boring, amazing hair, has your back even if you aren't affiliated with her gang... we don't deserve Toni. None of us deserve Toni. Except Cheryl, she deserves Toni. BUT AS MUCH AS WE ALL LOVE CHONI IN THIS HOUSE - Toni doesn't deserve to just be someone's love interest. My girl needs a backstory and she needs screen time so she can cement herself as the serpent queen she was born to be.
6) FP Jones
FP Jones is a good person and I will not hear another word said about it. Yes, FP has done some very bad things, but they were done to protect others; the whole Jason cover up and jail stint? To protect his son. Burying the shady guy's body? To protect Alice and Betty. And yes, he's been a bit shit when it comes to parenting but who in this town hasn't? The most important thing is: he's here and he's doing his best. OK?????
At the end of the day, FP Jones is the kind of guy who, if you came to him with a problem, would solve it at whatever cost. And then he'd invite you for a drink afterwards - which you would politely decline because you know he's trying to stay sober. We love a dad with an extensive plaid shirt collection who will lay his life on the line for those he loves. A good man and a Real Man™. (Also, have you seen him wearing glasses?!!!)
5) Fred Andrews
The number one dad of the Hot Dads of Riverdale™ brigade and the purest of the pure but not without his flaws. Fred Andrews is the king of staying in his lane and minding his own business. He has never pretended to be someone he's not and he's never judged others for their shortcomings or mistakes. This king remains HUMBLE and he stays grounded. Honestly, if I had to trust anyone with my life, it would be Fred Andrews.
If there's anyone in this town who deserves better, it's Fred. My mans needs some love, he needs some peace and quiet and he also needs a son who will stay home and fix up old cars with him instead of going out and causing trouble trying to impress his girlfriend's shitty dad. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? IS IT?
4) Veronica Lodge
On paper, Veronica is a recipe for disaster. A spoiled, rich kid from the city accustomed to a life of diamonds, pearls, fine leather goods and Cristal mimosas for breakfast, all expensed on daddy's American EXCESS card. But over the past few seasons, you'll agree that V has truly cemented herself into the heart and soul of Riverdale and has single-handedly saved the town from its beige existence.
She's one of the only people in this god damn town brave enough and smart enough to stand up to her morally corrupt father. She's always one step ahead of every scheme. She fights her own battles. She's a successful businesswoman. She's always first in line to fight for her friends too, no matter what. If something in the town needs saving, she's saving it.
Let's face it, she's honestly more qualified to be the Mayor than her mum or Sierra McCoy at this point... #Lodge2020.
3) Alice Cooper
From the stone cold, untrustworthy one-time murder suspect to one of the most multi-faceted, most valuable and best characters in town? Alice Cooper invented character development.
Is Alice the best parent on the show? Absolutely not but that doesn’t mean her actions come from a place of hatred or malice. Alice is a very complex and vulnerable character who's been through a lot of shit and all she's ever wanted for her kids is to not have the messy life that she had. Her decisions are often misguided but we're blaming Hal, Edgar and the cult for all of that.
But parenting aside, Alice is an icon. Whether she's serving North Side Cooper or South Side Smith, she has the ability to eviscerate anyone who crosses her or her family. She throws bricks at windows for fun and she's mastered the art of the brutal clap-back so perfectly that you actually consider calling for an ambulance several times an episode. PROTECT HER AT ALL COSTS!
2) Betty Cooper
It is a known fact that Betty is the only person in this town who actually has a damn clue. She is Nancy Drew, Elle Woods, all of the Pretty Little Liars, Detective Olivia Benson from SVU and Judge Judy all rolled into one. Without Betty, the Black Hood would still be at large, no one would have discovered the USB stick with the CCTV footage of Jason's murder, Cheryl may never have escaped Thorn Hill, FP would still be in jail... NEED I GO ON?
She's selfless, she stands up for what she believes in, she's literally of one the only characters who is actively trying to make Riverdale a better place... without Betty, Riverdale would be nothing. NOTHING I TELL YOU! PUT SOME RESPECT ON ELIZABETH'S NAME.
P.S. Please give Betty a break xx
1) Cheryl Blossom
Cheryl Marjorie Blossom is, without a doubt, the BEST character on Riverdale... PERIODT! My good sis is never without a bold red lip (which she invented), she always brings the fire (literally), she will not stand for your bullsh*t and she has the ability to end you in one fell swoop with a witty line and a savage nickname.
There’s more to Cheryl than just sass and aesthetics, though. Like Alice, Cheryl isn't just a one-dimension clap-back generator and she's not your textbook mean girl. Beyond that stone-cold facade, Cheryl is an incredibly vulnerable person, looking for a place to finally belong. Over the past few seasons, we've seen Cheryl go from a vindictive foil to the core four to an integral part of the squad. She's gone from living under Penelope's thumb and seeking her approval to literally not giving a fuck. And she's also embraced her own sexuality, something she was made to feel ashamed of in the past.
Cheryl has been through it but now, my emancipated Queen has a kick-ass girlfriend on her arm, a Serpent jacket on her back and she is reclaiming her time. She is THAT bitch.