Literally Everyone HATES The Names Of Polly Cooper's Twins On "Riverdale"

18 January 2018, 16:35

Polly Cooper, Riverdale, Betty Cooper, Twins, Babies, Names, Juniper, Dagwood
Picture: The CW
Katie Louise-Smith

By Katie Louise-Smith

Polly sweetie, what is you doing?

While the real life news is obsessed with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's newborn baby girl's name, the Riverdale fandom is currently losing it over the name reveal of Polly Cooper's newborn twins.

In episode 10 of season 2, Polly sneaks back home to pack more clothes before she heads back to the cult "farm" where she's currently living. Betty finds her in her bedroom packing a suitcase... WITHOUT A BABY BUMP.

It turns out that Polly has given birth! Finally! To twins! Nana Blossom (who is definitely a witch) was right! And they have names! What are the names? Well... let's just say this: We guarantee that whatever Kim and Kanye pick for their baby girl, it won't be as wild or ridiculous as what names Polly freakin' Cooper has chosen to bestow upon her offspring.

Are you ready? The babies names are...

The CW

JUNIPER AND DAGWOOD

The CW

You know what, for a girl who grew up in a family where everyone's names are the most boring suburban names known to man, she really does have some nerve. Jason Blossom is spinning in his damn grave.

Everyone is absolutely losing it over the name reveal and the majority of the fandom aren't living for it at all.

Polly, sweetie... what is you doing? Did you fall and smack your little head on the pavement?

No wonder Polly didn't want Mama Coop to know... she would have thrown SEVERAL bricks through SEVERAL windows.

Actually... now you mention it, this is show I would watch.

I would absolutely trust them with my legal issues.

Spin off, please!

NO. STOP. THEY'RE TERRIBLE NAMES. HOW DARE YOU.

Did we learn NOTHING from American Horror Story this season? Cults are bad.

Even the official Archie Comics account is roasting her over it.

And in that moment, we were ALL Betty.