Riverdale almost killed off Alice Cooper and fans are conflicted about her big decision
28 February 2019, 20:50 | Updated: 28 February 2019, 23:12
I'm sorry, the old Alice can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, because she LITERALLY DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE.
In this week's episode of Riverdale, everyone was at war. Archie? Got physical in the boxing ring in a bid to channel his pent up aggression into something non-self destructive. Veronica? Found herself flitting between the Jones' trailer and Daddy's penthouse as she tried (and failed) to shake down Gladys Jones. Jughead? Attempted to make peace with Toni only to get metaphorically slapped in the face by the Pretty Poisons. Sweet Pea and Fangs? Literally slapped in the face by the Pretty Poisons. Me? On my way to riot calmly protest outside the Riverdale writers room.
But the most pressing war being fought in this episode is the war that will not stop destroying everything in Betty Cooper's life: The Farm. In episode 13, Betty (Lili Reinhart) found herself at odds with the Farmies who almost claimed the life of her mother, Alice Cooper Smith (Mädchen Amick), in an incredibly dangerous cult ritual.
Well, actually... they technically did kind of claim the life of her mother because the Alice we knew? She's gone, fam. The Farm got her. And what happened as a result of that creepy AF baptism appears to have changed the Cooper family forever and has sent the entire fandom spiralling into a pit of despair.
Spoilers for 'Requiem For A Welterweight' ahead... YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!
Right then, let's talk about Alice, shall we? As you all know, Mama Coop is very sad, very vulnerable and still very much dealing with Hal's murderous bullshit. Her life is a mess and she's desperately trying to heal by any means possible. Unfortunately, the path she has chosen to healing is the one that leads to a cult and not one that leads to FP's bed...
ANYWAY. It all kicks off when she brings her wedding dress down to be altered for her bApTiSm. Betty questions her, Alice is having none of it. Betty then finds out that Alice has signed a form that completely removes any and all blame from the Farm in case she DIES during the ceremony. (Hahahahaha, WHAT?)
Shook, Betty goes on a sleuth to find more info about The Farm but she can't find anything online (red flag!), nor can she find a picture of Edgar Evernever (RED FLAG!) She also finds out that Kevin is thinking about joining The Farm too (Et tu, Kevin!?) Eventually, she gets in touch with an ex-Farmie who spills tea that Betty really didn't wanna hear - her sister actually died during the same ceremony.
Still shook, Betty legs it AAAAAALL the way to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy within the space of a few minutes (pretty sure it's too far away to run to but go off!) but she arrives too late, just as Alice falls unconscious in the bath.
Betty drags Alice out of the bath and has to perform CPR on her own freakin' mother while her messy (but also probably brainwashed) sister Polly just stands there.
Alice survives (thankfully) but all is not well. All is not well at all.
Instead of snapping out of it, Alice's near death experience sent her spiralling even further into the cult. After arriving back home, hair still wet and that up-cycled wedding dress still soaked, she sits there in a trance and tells Betty that she has been reborn and is now ready to purge the last thing in her life that's holding her back: THE GOD DAMN HOUSE.
Alice is officially brainwashed brainwashed. And the Alice that's making all these decisions? It's not her. It's The Farm. And now, Farm Alice™ has finally taken away Betty's last shred of hope.
Unsurprisingly, the bombshell at the end of the episode left everyone feeling conflicted about Alice's actions. Some were furious, some were frustrated and some were just really sad because the Alice we all know and love isn't there any more.
I don't care who it is, can someone PLEASE just come and save Alice?!
If it was as simple as "knocking some sense into her," this season would be over in 10 minutes.
She's literally brainwashed, your Honour.
LIKE I SAID! BRAINWASHED!
Alice doesn't deserve tHISSSSSS!
ALICE! PLEASE! THE HOUSE! THINK OF THE BARCHIE WINDOW!
I mean, she's not wrong.
So, what does this mean for Alice (and Betty) going ahead? With the casting announcement of Chad Michael Murray as Edgar Evernever and the teaser picture from the actual Farm via Mädchen's Instagram, the Cooper family as we know it, is no more. Alice is selling that house, and she is going ✈️ cult life.
Will Betty forced to move to The Farm too? Where will she stay? Who's gonna buy the house? It's gonna be Gladys, isn't it?
Oh, and does the subtle mention of the word "ascend" mean that The Farm and Gryphons and Gargoyles are connected? So many questions...