Riverdale releases final season 4 trailer and it's steamy AF

7 October 2019, 19:46 | Updated: 7 October 2019, 20:07

Katie Louise Smith

By Katie Louise Smith

Falice kiss! Betty and her gun to the rescue! Choni Halloween excellence! Archie and Mad Dog shirtless!

Riverdale have dropped their final season 4 trailer ahead of the released of episode 1 this week and seriously? I am losing it.

The new trailer teases footage up to at least episode 4, which is the Halloween episode. The trailer opens with Archie finding out that his dad Fred has sadly passed away. Just like the trailer that was previously released for episode 1 (titled 'In Memoriam'), Archie breaks down at Pop's Diner after receiving a phone call about the fate of his father.

READ MORE: When does Riverdale season 4 start on Netflix?

As for the rest of the season, episode 2 onwards teases Archie continuing Fred's legacy alongside the usual Riverdale drama, scandal, neighbourhood violence and sex. A lot of sex. And a lot of kissing. Grown-up kissing too, courtesy of the parents. (Yes, ladies... Falice has finally RISEN!)

Here's what we saw in the trailer and what it all means...

Riverdale season 4 final trailer teases romance and even more drama
Riverdale season 4 final trailer teases romance and even more drama. Picture: The CW

- Archie and Mad Dog (whose real name is apparently Monroe?!?!?) turn the boxing gym into a community centre where young kids can train and hang out after school. Two Kings. Honestly.

- Our first look at the Halloween episode has arrived too. Archie is dressing up as Pureheart the Powerful while Cheryl and Toni are going as Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. No word on Bughead, Veronica, Reggie or Kevin's costumes just yet.

- Hiram is in jail and he's still trying to destroy Veronica's life by exposing her and sending the press to her doorstep. Will this affect her chances at becoming one of Fibes' 20 under 20?! Will her membership to whatever fake version of Soho House they use in this show be revoked?!

- Hiram and Hermione also manage to get themselves out of jail faster than you can say, "Papa Poutine has the best poutine in ALL of North America."

- Jughead moves into his new dorm room at his private prep school, and then swiftly gets a warning about a guy called Brett Weston-Wallace. He later threatens him in a classroom. (This confrontation is likely the explanation for the scene where Jughead was buried alive in the first trailer. He's wearing what appears to be Stonewall prep uniform.)

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- Betty and her brother Charles lead the investigation into the whereabouts of Alice and the rest of the Farmies. Oh, and Betty has suspicions about her brother hanging around post-rescue mission too because of course, what is Riverdale without a suspicious older sibling!?

- Speaking of suspicious older siblings, there's a quick glimpse at new character Hermosa leaving the courtroom (presumably during Hiram's trial). We now know that she is Veronica's older half-sister. Surprise!

- Speaking of siblings in general, Cheryl still has Jason's dead body sat in a wheelchair in the chapel at Thistlehouse. Oh, and she is now the owner of a haunted doll called Julian who is able to communicate via ouija board. Yay! This happens in episode 4, the Halloween episode.

- AND NOW FOR THE SEX. Bughead and Varchie are doing it at the parent-free Pembrooke and Choni are doing it at the parent-free Thistlehouse. Nothing new here. Business as usual.

- BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY... ALICE AND FP HAVE FINALLY KISSED! It has been 84 years! My crops are thriving! My skin is clear! The bees are no longer dying at an alarming rate! This is what it feels like to finally win! Look at them! LOOK AT THEM!

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- Hiram and Hermione are also doing it and while it's hot AF, I honestly don't know how to feel about it.

- There is a shirtless car wash fundraiser ft. Mad Dog, Archie and Reggie.

- Several supportive hugs from Mary Andrews.

- FP beats up Hiram and holds a glass bottle to his throat. You! Really! Do! Love! To! See! It!

- And one absolutely WILD shot of Alice and a beret-wearing Betty (who now knows how to handle a gun with more flair and finesse than literally anyone who has ever played James Bond) walking through the Farm's concrete compound. This happens in episode 3, which is the big cult escape bonanza episode.

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Riverdale returns on Wednesday October 9th at 8pm ET on The CW.